Hi Babe, It's the 31st of March 2024...HAPPY EASTER....
Well I guess everything here is the same as always, I miss you like crazy and the holidays, any holidays are always worse. I wish I could just come and join you and bring all the girls and mama along too. I am sick and tired of this world and I have no place here anymore. Whatever the Lord is keeping me here for is not working and I hate to say it but, whatever he thinks or thought I was good for he is sadly mistaken, maybe the one and only mistake he has ever made, it's no surprise
that the one mistake he makes would be with me... I believe the only thing I am good for is taking care of doggies and I am sure there are many people that could do that better too. Zara is not doing to well these days please keep an eye on her and make sure she is not suffering in any way..Poor little muffin she is such a good girl. I think I just want to keep to myself for a while and leave everyone a lone. I think things would be better for everyone. I just want you to know and the Lord that I am more than ready and willing to come home if the Lord will have me there is nothing left for me here. I hope you had a wonderful Easter although maybe you celebrate on the actual day he rose. Happy Easter babe say hello to everyone and as always give Doodles her special kissy from me.
I Love and Miss you so very much..Love always Laura/Mommy

Hi babe..It's the 13th of March 2024....I guess I am writing you because I am feeling so grateful tonight..I don't really know why but, sometimes this feeling hits me so strong, I am always grateful but, some days it just really hits me..I really wish you were here with me enjoying what we built together. I truly thank the Lord for bringing us together just about daily. I am so grateful the Lord blessed you with such talents, your knowledge was so widespread over so many areas it was truly amazing. I am even grateful for all the difficult times we went through and I am so grateful we stuck it out and came out on top. I wonder sometimes if we never went through all the hard times if I would be as grateful for everything as I am today. Although I prayed so hard for the bad times to stop I know thank God for unanswered prayers. Sometimes I just walk around and look at the house, yard and even belongings and can not believe what we accomplished. I truly believe the Lord is still blessing me each and every day, although I never hear him speak to me ( which would be amazing ) I feel like I always have more than enough of everything no matter what repair bills come in or unexpected things happen. Both our children are doing wonderful in their jobs have beautiful homes and money put away for a rainy day...I couldn't be more proud of them both and I know you feel the same. Well babe I just wanted you to know what I was feeling....Say hello to all and give Doodles her special little kiss. I love and miss you so much babe...Laura/Mommy

Hi Babe, It's the 12th of March 2024....I just wanted to touch base with you so this maybe a short letter. Things are not great down here which I am sure you already know. Mom had a bad bad night and I just don't know what to say or do any more to make her feel better. It just feels like everything is falling apart and I can not fix anything anymore, I am just a old lady that is attempting to explain that life is short and there are so many things to be grateful for but, sometimes I don't even believe it myself. I was so exhausted all day I thought if I even sat down I would be out cold, so I worked outside in the back yard for several hours turning over the veggie garden and filling in the holes the girls dig. After I made dinner I thought for sure I would pass out but I did clean up the dishes put Mom to bed vacuumed and then called it a night. Now I am watching t.v. and wouldn't you know it can not sleep...figures... I found out my friend and partner Lon Trucker from hurd millwork died in a car accident March 5th 2 days before his 59th birthday. That's Hunter and Lon now that were my partners and they are both gone now...can't help but, wonder...well you know.. I keep attempting to tell mom to think positive and be grateful but, to be honest I actually know where is is coming from.....I just keep praying everyone will find their way and everything will be alright, I hope you can help by watching over us all and Jesus will heal broken and hurt hearts. The girls are doing well I pray they stop digging holes in the yard. I just had the downstairs fireplace worked on and the jeep had some more work done so it is an expensive month so far...Hopefully nothing else falls apart this month. Well Babe I am so tired I can't even see straight anymore so I am just going to curl up on the couch...Please give my love to all and rell Hunter and Lon I said hello...Give Doodles her special kiss for me...Love and miss you all so very much..Love Laura/Mommy

March 3rd 2024...HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE,,,,,,69 years old today I sure wish we could celebrate together....I bet the Lord puts on a bid party for all the birthdays.....Instead of baking your usual cake I tied easter eggs today, 4 different colors. Jo came up thursday and left about 10:30 this morning and as usual politics was brought up ( by her ) I have to learn to just get up and walk away..but the rest of the weekend went ok, she cut and dyed my hair so it was nice to get that done. We are having some thunder and lightening here tonight on your Birthday and you remember how much Rena loves that....she has never changed. The twins don't seem to mind the storms or fireworks so far, I pray that doesn't change. Since Jo was leaving today we had salvo's pizza for your Birthday dinner last night as it was always your first choice. Haven't seen the kids in a few days as they had to work the weekend. Mom is pretty much the same but, I did forget to order her pills on Friday so I have to remember to do that in the morning, I put a reminder on the frig, as it seems I can not remember things like I once did. Thomass Hunter is living up in heaven with you now, remember he was a man I worked with at Langlade, he wasn't very old either. I missed his funeral but Jo can't lift mom and I didn't need any accidents, I think Thomass would understand. Well I better end this as the storm appears to be moving in...HAPPY BIRTHDAY..I miss you so much....Love to all and give Ripzy a big kiss on her little nose from me..Love you babe.

Hi Babe, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!! It's the 14th of Feb. 2024. I didn't do much today, cleaned a little but, that was about all. Everything is the same here, don't get me wrong I am soooo grateful for everything I have.. The world keeps getting crazier and crazier with no end in sight. All the doggies were so whiny today Rena is still whining I don't know why. It's also ash Wednesday but, I could get ashes on my forehead so I kind of did it myself. keep watching over us all as we need you every minute every day. Please give everyone a hug and kiss for me and give Doodles and extra kiss on her cute little nose from me...All my love Laura/Mommy...I miss you all so much!

Hi Babe, well it's the 10th of Feb. 2024 almost valentines days....Not much going on these days although for Feb. the weather is pretty nice. We don't have any snow and I haven't needed the driveway plowed at all yet this winter and the heating bills haven't been bad either. Mom is doing ok but, she is so ready to go home and be with daddy. John has more bad days then good lately but, he is hanging in there. Sharon thinks he just gets himself all worked up and can't calm down. I pray things get better for him, It's just so different, he can't enjoy everything that the loved any more which is not how retirement is all about. I don't see Liz very much anymore she is so busy with work and the family although Douglas has been coming around much more which I love. Douglas worries me a little..he just goes and goes and I don't think he is allowing himself enough recovery time which can catch up to you is in hurry with colds, flu ect... If I was able to get mom and the girls up to the cottage by myself I think I may have gone up there for a week or so as I never have been there during the winter months. I called your cell-phone tonight and I was so upset because I wanted to hear your voice but, instead I got a females voices telling me the person I was calling was not answering to try again later. I though I lost your voice...I then tried turning the phone on and attempted calling it again and you answered Thank God.....All the girls are going well however Diamond is still having problems..I have to keep her in the bathroom or she wee wee's all over, it's not her fault she is just getting old. I do take her outside on the deck when the weather isn't to cold as she is so skinny I am afraid she will get cold. The world isn't getting any better either, I pray and pray that God will move soon and expose all these evil people. There was something going around that several of us got..not the flu but, aches and pains, deep chest cold hot sweaty then cold and freezing and although I am feeling better it just keeps hanging on. I miss you so much I really though missing you so much would ease up a little by now but, it just hasn't I still ball every single night. I so wish you where here but, then again I am glad you are safe, healthy and loved and away from all this crazy down here. Well I just wanted to check in with you please don't ever think I have forgotten you I just don't know if writing these letters makes me feel better or worse so I do avoid doing them sometimes. I love you and miss you so much...Please give everyone a hug and kiss for me and as always give Doodle Bugs a big kiss on her pretty little nose from me ...Love always Laura/Mommy

Hi Babe, Well it's the 9th of Jan, 2024 I pray you are Happy,Healthy, and safe and loved. I have been doing ok...actually I have been having a hard time ever since Thanksgiving and I pray nobody actually knows how bad I am doing..I try to keep it to myself I don't want to worry or upset anyone.
Wow..Mom just fell out of bed, It took a little doing but, I got her back in bed..I asked several times if she hurt anywhere but, she said she is fine...I pray that is true.....I was told the pain of missing you would get " less Sharp" with passing time but so far it has not. I guess I have always been a lot slower than the average person. I know or at least believe I have told you in here more than once but, here we go again....I never wanted anything bad for you babe, I really with all my heart wanted you to have the best retirement ever..no worries about house payment, car payments..ect...but, maybe my way wasn't the way to go maybe there was or is another way I just don't know. I wanted the best for you and maybe I pressed to hard, if so I am very sorry that was not my intention I swear to God. I thank God everyday that he blessed you with so much knowledge and he brought us together, I am so grateful for everything I have and I do make it appoint o tell God that every day. I still do not understand why you had to leave why God did not heal you and I guess I will continue to ask that same question everyday. I wish I would have been a better wife and understood more, I really believed I was doing what I believed to be right....I have so much to be grateful for and believe me I am so very grateful however without you here nothing means much It's like I am just on auto-pilot doing almost the same thing every day. I wish I did not relay on Liz so much and I bet she wishes the same thing. I just can not understand what I am still doing here....I never know..really know if what I am doing is right.....I wish so much that you could speak to me and we could have a one on one conversation. This world is so crazy and I don't know who or what to believe anymore I could really use one of your heart to heart talks. There are times..like tonight when I really feel like calling it...But, then I think about Rena, Rozy and Willoughby joy..and I think there is no way I got a Rozy by accident and maybe just maybe God did answer my prayer and he is watching over me. Although I want for nothing...the future doesn't look very bright....I am going to be alone for what 10, 20 and maybe even 30 years not a pleasant thought. Well I am sorry but, tonight was one of thoses extra bad nights....I love and miss you so much, It's hard putting one foot in-front of another and not actually getting anywhere. Give all my love and kisses to all and give Doodles an extra kiss on her sweet little nose for me....Love and miss you so much...Laura

HAPPY NEW YEAR Babe, Today is 01/01/2024 I pray this year will be better than last year...I pray GOD is going to make a huge move this month..There is so many crazy things happening in this world, and America is not what she was. There are so many people who are taking GOD and Jesus out of America and attempting to remove them from this whole world. If they are allowed to do this we as a people are done...We need GOD and Jesus in this world more than ever. I pray he will remove and expose all the people within this nation that want them gone and I pray he does it quickly....I miss you so much but, I am glad you are safe and healthy and do not have to live through the wrath of GOD here on this earth as he will not be mocked to much longer. I love you all and miss you all...Laura

Hi Babe, Well it is the 29th of Dec. 2023 only 2 more days then we are in 2024. I just wanted to remind you to come around tomorrow the 30th as we will be celebration Christmas that day. I know it will not be anywhere near the get together's in heaven but I would still like you here. To be truthful just want the holiday's to be over and done they just don't feel the same without you here. Dusty's mom will be joining us tomorrow so maybe speak with Corky and have him come as well along with all the others. Well I just wanted to shoot you a reminder...I love and miss you and everyone so much...Love always and forever Laura

MERRY CHRISTMAS Babe, I wanted to write and invite you to join us for Christmas here on Saturday the 30th 2023...We are celebrating a little late but, it worked out with everyone on the 30th so then it is. I just got done writing and inviting Daddy also, please bring along anyone you would like the more angels the better; your parents, jeni, julian, grandparents, ect.. celebrating our Lords Birthday. I miss and love you every moment of every day..Don't forget to bring all the fur babies...xxoo

Hi Babe it's just me again...It's still Christmas eve for another hour and a half...I had hoped and prayed that this year this Christmas would be easier but, it is not...I miss you as much if not more and it is so hard to keep going on. I am watching the Bible on tv and people were as cruel back then as they are now maybe even worse back then. This world is so messed up and full of hate and lies' I know something is very wrong but, I just don't understand the whole picture nor do I know my reason or part in it. We have no snow this year none..in fact they are calling for a lot of rain tomorrow on Christmas day. John's been having a rough time and Sharon doesn't know what to do anymore she hasn't slept in days. I hope and pray if something is going to crash this world so God can rebuild it happens soon and I mean soon like in the next few days. I feel like life has just stood still since you have left I am not going forward or backwards just staying still in the same place. Dusty, Liz and the boys have gone to his Mom's house for Christmas eve I pray she is doing well, I know it is very hard. well I will write again tomorrow have a wonderful Christmas eve..It is my understanding that Jesus was thought to be born in Sept not Dec. so maybe you celebrate the true birthday of Jesus. Give all my love to everyone and please keep a watch on me and don't forget about me..Love you always Laura

Hi Babe, Happy Christmas eve!!!! I pray your celebrating with Jesus and your happy,healthy and heaven is very thing you ever dreamed of and more. I don't understand why but,I feel like I am back at day one here. I just want you happy and that's all that matters. I know Jesus knows what I am going through here but,I don't want you to worry about anything down here. Please tell everyone Happy Christmas eve from me and give everyone a hug and kiss and as always give doodles and extra bid one from me. I hope and pray we will all be together soon ...Love Laura and Mommy

Hi Babe, Sorry it has been awhile, not a whole lot going on here. It's the 17th of Dec. 2023 and so far it doesn't look like it's going to be a white Christmas this year. I guess it doesn't really matter to much to me one way or the other. Christmas doesn't seem like to big a deal any more with the kids grown and out of the house with lives of thier own and you being gone Christmas is just another day. I am trying to be a good sport with the holidays this year I don't want to be a downer, but I can not wait till they are over. I pray Dusty's mom is doing ok it has to be hard on her although to her credit she appears to be much farther a long then I am as far as excepting Corky being gone. Dusty, Liz and the boys worked on thier house this weekend and wow does it look nice. They painted and put up some wood on the walls in the dining room and living room and it just looks so open , warm and inviting just beautiful although I only saw pictures but, it was nice because you could see it changing as they went a long. They got a lot done in just two days, she said they have a little bit to go but, they can finish up this week. I am glad they are not so tight "money wise " so they can really start enjoying what they have worked so hard to get. I have learned although hard times stink when your going through them, what you learned and grown to respect is so much greater when you make it to the other side is well worth it. I hope and pray they can feel that kind of accomplishment now. I still feel so blessed every day although I also feel kind of lost and worthless at the same time. I really worked so hard to get everything done and paid for so we could live our older life comfortablely and without stress or worry and for all the work here I am in your house a lone, nothing worked out correctly. I have everything I need and then some but, I sure don't have the one thing that would make everything worthwhile. I would just like to know why God didn't heal you and let you stay here with me, I know he could have I just don't know why he didn't. I haven't heard form Douglas in awhile but, maybe he will call or stop by this next week. Give my love and hugs to everyone and give doodles a extra big kiss on her nose from me. Love and miss you much..Good night sweetheart. Love Laura/Mommy

Hi Babe, It's the 9th of Dec. 2023, Sharon stopped by this morning and brought me of holiday cookies that you have to bake so I made some of them today. It wasn't a bad day but, it wasn't a good day either just a day. I don't know if it's the holidays but, I feel so blessed and so depressed at the same time. I have everything I could ever need but, I don't have everything that I want which is you. I wish so much that we could have grown old together in this house that we build and worked so hard for. I do have faith and I feel like my faith has only grown stronger after you left but, I have so many questions that I just can not find the answers too or at least I simply don't understand the answers. I wish I had more knowledge of what this life is all about. It has been almost two and a half years since you left and I still have not made it through one whole day without breaking down at one point or another. I know God's will..will be done on his timing and I have to just keep putting one foot in front of the other but, nothing seems that important or worthwhile when there is nobody to do it for. In the back of my mind I feel like I have to keep everything going so if anything happens the kids always have a place to call home and to come back too no matter what. I guess all parents have that thought. Well enough whiney for one night....I do pray Dusty's mom is doing ok, I don't know why but, I just feel things are not going well for her, I pray she can work whatever she is going through out and she can move on without stress or worry having your spouse pass is rough enough she doesn't need anything more to deal with. Well babe I will say good night..I love and miss you all and please give doodles a big kiss on her cute little nose for me..Love always Laura/ Mommy

Hi Babe, Well it's the 4th of Dec. 2023....HAPPY 41st Wedding Anniversary!!!!!! I made Hamburgers tonight....That was always your request....actually I was going to make them yesterday but, did it today. Dusty and Liz did a Aldi's run yesterday so I have everything I need and then some. Nothing new around here and the world is still a mess. I don't know what is true and what isn't. I know you know, and I am glad you are safe I don't know what's going to happen down here. I still wish God would have healed you and let you stay here with me. We got everything ready to hold on and then he took you away I just do not understand what was the point of paying everything off and stocking up if he was going to take you away. I just don't know what to believe anymore....I just wanted to wish you a happy 41st wedding anniversary and I pray we will be together again sooner than later. Give everyone a big hug and kiss for me and give doodles an extra little kiss on her sweet little nose.. Love always Laura/Mommy

Hi Babe, It's the 1st of Dec. 2023, In three days we will be married 41 years....I have been having a rough couple of days, I am not sure why but, I think with Thanksgiving a few weeks ago, our anniversary in a few days and Christmas right around the bend it kind of is hitting me hard and all at once. Willoughby joy and Rozy will be turning 1 this week as well, They are both doing well and they have brought some much needed life and happiness back into your house. Douglas stopped by this evening it was very nice to see him, He just bought a new truck very nice a four door chevy I believe with a towing package. It was pretty expensive I pray he hasn't gone over his ski's as they say. You should hear him speak now, it's so funny worring about a budget and retirement, things just a few years ago was unheard of from him. I guess it is true...raise up a child in the way they should go and they will not depart from it...It took a little longer than I thought but, here we are. proud mama..Mom had a hard day yesterday but, she was a little better today. Even though I have been having a rough few days, I am so grateful to the Lord for bringing you into my life, this wonderful home, this wonderful property and being so comfortable at this point in my life. I thank the Lord every day for giving you such knowledge to build this home, the bedroom set, hutch, clocks and so much more you have so much talent. Even though we went through a lot of hard times I want to thank you for making every dream I had come true. I always felt I was a women of God but, since you have gone to glory I believe my faith as grown a lot and even though I have so many questions and things I just do not understand I truly believe and know it was right as God doesn't lie or make mistakes and I am unable to see the whole picture as he does. I still get upset and fustrated but, I do make it appoint to catch myself and ask for Gods forgiveness. I do thank him every day for every thing I have and I am will aware that we did not do this all by our self, He helped us and blessed us beyound what we deserved, I am not sure why but, I know I am grateful. I do wish you were here with me every moment of every day but, I do find comfort understanding you are safe, healthy and loved as this world is getting crazier and crazier every day and they are attempting to remove God from this world every chance they get. I just do not understand why they can not understand when they remove God everything goes right down the toilet and man we are seeing that come true every day. We babe, please say hello and give everyone my love and give Doodles a big kiss on her sweet little nose and tell everyone I love and miss you all so much....Love always Laura/Mommy

Hi Babe, It's the 24th of Nov. 2023...I just wanted to say sorry for being so grumpy the other day, I guess between not feeling great and hearing Sharon telling me all about what Dusty was complaining to John about was just alittle to much for me..I just wish they wouldn't just complain so much it's always one thing or another. It's not that hard to attempt to be happy and grateful. I guess it bothers me that he doesn't just call them to have a nice conversation it's always to complain about one member of the family, Either way it was not right to get so upset but, I wish Sharon wouldn't even tell me anymore. Anyway I didn't do much today as I was right I was coming down with something so I just laid around most of the entire day. Forgive my anger and out bust sometimes I just say and do really stupid things.I guess a person can only handle so much negativity and taking care of Gma is almost enough negativity for a life time. Well I just wanted to say I was sorry...Please give everyone a big hug and kiss for me..and as usual give Doodles an extra hug and a big kiss on her sweet little nose...All my love Laura/Mommy

Hi Babe, well it's the 22nd of nov 2023.I wish this was a good talk but, I am so mad..every time I talk to Sharon all I hear about is how Dusty shits on our family to John..Last year it was all I do is make Dusty work so hard at the cottage which was all bullshit and every time it's just more complaints. I would rather pay some one to do what needs to be done around than to every have Dusty do or touch another damn thing in your home or the cottage. After everything we have done for them, paid the gas bill in elcho, do the kitchen and the bills where they live now, take the boys for the summer, and give them a car and send them on a 7 day trip and were still get shit on. I so sick of it all....I will never ask either one of them for anything ever again. I would rather lose the cottage than ask them to do a damn thing. I may not be the smartest tool around but, I will figure out how to pay my own damn bills. I have called around about work that needs to be done and I called the plumber in iron river about setting something up if he could open and shut down the cottage for me. I also text steph to see if her dad could put in the garage door so we will see. From now on either I can do it myself or pay someone or it doesn't get done, no more of this bullshit I am completely done. I love you and miss you so much and I know you would beable to take care of everything but, I can not and I am sick of being trashed, I will let the cottage go and go back to work before I lost this house so please don't worry, I just has enough.....Love always Laura

Hi Babe, It's the 19th of Nov.2023...We had Thanksgiving yesterday and I pray you joined us...I guess you could say I am having a really bad day which makes me even more angry than usual because I have been so blessed but, sometimes none of that matters and I just can not get passed that. We worked so hard for so long to be this comfortable and I am very comfortable but,it just doesn't mean what it should if I don't have you to share it with. Why did God have me work so hard and fight so hard to help us get to this point just for him to take you away? Ron I am so tired and wore down I just don't want to fight anymore, The kids are grown and I don't see them very much anymore as they are working and living their own lives. I just can not figure out what the hell am I doing still here a lone and still attempting to keep things going for what for who? Everyone kept going on with their lives after you left and believe me I am not knocking or blaming anyone what else could they do..however I have not moved on and I just pretend everything is ok and I am handling it but, truth be told I am not. I want for nothing and have all I need and then some yet, without you nothing seems to matter. I really can not word that right as I do love this house and yard and because I have it I can have the doggies and Mom and feel safe and secure which I do and I am so grateful for everything I have but, for some reason although I love everything I have it just isn't enough to make me feel good, happy without you to share it all with. I don't want you to think what you did wasn't enough because that is not what I am saying, I love everything I just always thought we would grow old together in the place we made your home and without you here as kind of just taken the wind out of everything. I love having all the doggies they are my life and I could not love each and everyone of them more and taken care of Mom is a gift and a chance to thank her for everything she has given up and done for me and you. I just don't feel whole or complete anymore and I am actually getting alittle tired of acting like all is good and wonderful but, there is nothing anyone can do or say that will or could ever make me feel better so why put my misery on either of the kids shoulders. I am glad Thanksgiving is over although it was nice getting together without you it had very little meaning. I do wish I saw Douglas more but, I know he has his own life and that was our job to make him a man that was strong enough to make it through this life without us and he is doing very well. It seems like Elizabeth and I are growing further apart and I don't get to see or speak to her like we used to but, again that was our job, she has grown into a beautiful, independent wife and mother. I guess that is the way of life and I have to say I am not a fan. I feel so bad for Sharon with all her children so far away and John having to go through everything he is going through, she is strong but, their is only so much a person can handle before they just far apart. It's funny I fought so hard for so long to obtain everything I thought was right but, in the long run what did I gain? I spent most of my adult life attempting to do what I thought was right what I thought was important and in the best interest for everyone and if you really look at it none of that mattered, people still act like you are taking advantage of others, to out spoken, to emotional, ungrateful, and the list goes on and on. Anyway I just needed to talk to you I wish with everything you could talk back to me and guide me in some direction, I feel so lost and hopeless tonight and every night to be honest. Dusty's mom appears to be doing much better than me emotionally and Corky has only been gone a few months. thank you for listening to me babe, I sure wish you could take back and we could have a conversation. Gives hugs and kisses to all and give doodles a big hug and kiss for me..Love always and forever Laura/ Mommy

Hi Babe me again I see I didn't put in the date we will all be here tomorrow the 18th around 5 or 6ish but, feel free to join us throughout the entire day,,,,,love you maybe tell Julian, Jenny, Corky and all the rest of the family...Love you all much...Laura

Hi Babe, It's the 17th of Nov.2023....I just wanted to let you know that the Liz and family, Douglas John and Sharon will becoming over here to your house to celebrate Thanksgiving. I know it is a little early but, everyone has off and nobody will have to get up in the morning for work so it just works out well. Dusty's mom is on a road trip with a girl friend so she will not be joining us, I pray she is having a wonderful time as I know how hard the first holidays without your husband is, actually the rest of them aren't much easier either. I just wanted to let you know so you and dad can join us I pray you can....Love to all and as always give doodles a big hug and kiss form me...I miss you all so much..love Laura/mommy

Hi Babe, It's the 14th of Nov. 2023.....Not much happened today either, sorry pretty boring here. Mom kind of had a rough day not the worsted but not good either. I did manage to give her a shower as she kept saying her head itched so bad, I think that burning the wood makes everything dryer. It was a little harder doing it alone but, I did it and everything was fine. I am so sick and tired of counting on other to get things done so I decided no more. Tomorrow no matter how long it takes I am going to figure out that stupid bill pay on the computer actually it
is not stupid I am. I have to start doing everything I can a lone and stop counting on others, If I have to pay someone to fix something oh well that's the way it's going to be. It's hard because you could and did fix everything so this is all new but, it has to be this way. I still feel fear when I leave mom home alone because if something does happen she can not get out of the house herself but, I have to do things and go places and if they say that is wrong I can not fight anymore. I have to go to the bank and if she is or appears to be having a ok day tomorrow I think I am just going to go and pray everything will work out. I guess if they are going to judge me for that there is nothing I can do, I think I have put up a good fight but, I am not 40 or 50 anymore and things need to be done. I am so fed up with not doing things because I am so afraid of messing something up or stopping them from taking mom away and that is no way to live. I know I did what was right and I do not want Mom to be taken from me or her home but, living in constant fear is slowly killing me. Nobody else signed up for this and I can not ask them to do what I signed up to do so starting today no more....I guess what it comes down too is I am going to need you and the Lord to guide me and give me the needed will-power, health, determination, knowledge and guidance to do what is required. I do feel like I have NOT taken any help I received for granted and always attempted to keep the scales balanced so nobody felt used. Unless something goes really wrong my plan is to stay here in your house until I take my last breath and I pray I do take my last breath here, I know that was also your wish and I will beat myself up every day that I did not make that happen.... I guess until the very end I only allowed myself to believe you were coming home as you did every other time. I tell you if I heard China or whoever shot off a bunch of rockets headed right here I wouldn't complain about it, and the way things are heating up maybe we are not far away. People fighting about stupid stuff,not being so happy about the things they have, spending money on things they want/or what they want to do; not what they need to do while still owing others (banks ect..) just drives me crazy. Sometimes I feel like I was born way to late and should have been born during the depression. Well wish me luck on this new attempt on things I miss you so much for so many different reasons..Give my love to all, make sure the Lord has my name in the book of life and give Doodles a big hug and kiss on her little sweet nose from me. Love and miss you all Laura/Mommy

Hi Babe, It's the 13th of Nov. 2023....Nothing new down this way every day is pretty much the same. It was snowing Saturday so Braydon spend the night as Liz was working Aiden was at Gma's hunting and Dusty didn't know if he would get called in to sand/salt the roads. Douglas stopped by Sunday before work it was nice to see him, I wish he would stop by a little more often. All the doggies are fine the little ones do keep me going. All the holidays are coming up and I just don't know how to feel, they just don't feel right without you here. I know I have so so much to be grateful/Thankful for but, without you here it just doesn't feel right to celebrate. Not that it's right but, I kind of thought by now these feelings would let up a little but, so far they haven't., Nicole told me as time passes it will get less sharp but, again not yet...apparently I can't even mourn correctly. Anyway...I pray you are happy, healthy and loved by all ...Give everyone hugs and kisses from me and as always give doodles a big kiss on her sweet little nose..Love always Laura/Mommy

Hi Babe, Well it's the 6st of Nov.2023...Doodle Bugs has been with you for just a few days over a year now, I miss that little sweetheart so much. I hope she is chasing balls all day long, she just loved that in the water or in the yard she just loved that game. Things are pretty much the same down here although mom is slowly going down hill and she get so upset with herself when she is unable to do something or knocks something over. I understand it has to be hard for her. The world isn't getting much better down here, wars, protests, prices, ect...I fear it will not be long and the war will make it on America's soil. They are even saying the word "draft" which is scary. Bo Pony is saying things are going on the Bible's timeline and Nov-Dec are going to be hard month's and America is going to go through a near death type of event. Bo said not to fear as these things must happen. I know God is with me and I know we have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams and I am so grateful for every one of his blessings, although I do wish he would have healed you and allowed you to return home here with me. I feel I am learning a lot about God and his word but, I have so many questions and so much I just can not understand. It is said in wedding vows until death do us part but Jesus also said whomever believes in me shall never die which is more like how I feel. I have so many questions like that and I can't seem to find the answers. Anyway things down here maybe getting a little crazy but, I know God will be with me and I pray you will too. I don't get to see the kids as much as I would like but, they are both so busy and it is also hunting time. I have seen so many deer in the yard this year and you always said seeing them was a thrill every time. Well until next time say hello and give hugs to everyone up in heaven and give Doodles a big kiss on her cute little nose. I love and miss you so much..Love laura/Mommy

Hi babe, Its the 19th of Oct.2023. The world is still going to crap now we have two wars going on and some say we are on our way to ww3. I really don't care one way or the other however I do feel bad for the children. We are getting our cow tomorrow at least thats the last thing I have heard. The dish downstairs took a crap so I have been watching t.v. upstairs which is strange I never really never done that before. I guess everything is going ok Mom had a better day today then she has had in years, God answered my pray as I prayed and prayed for his help. The puppies are doing good although Willoughby-joy eats everything including but not limited too remote controls, fly swatters, socks,slippers,ect..ect..she is even worse than Zach was with shoes but, she is a sweet heart and I am so glad I got them both. I tell them about you all the time, I tell them they live here with me in Daddy's house. The new wood burner works good and warms up the entire upstairs which is nice since thats where we are spending all of your time. I think the grass will need to be cut once more this year, since mom had such a good day I could have done it but, it rained on and off all day. Marge and Wendy come up several times this year which was wonderful, Wendy is living with a friend while she figures things out. I miss you so much its kind of hard to find joy in anything without you here. Thanks to you, the Lord and all our hard work I am doing good I try to thank all of you every day for everything I have. Please give everyone my Love and I pray I can join you sooner than later. Give doodles a big kiss on her nose from me I miss her so much, she was such a good girl. Rena sends her love to all of you, some times I ask myself what is she thinking, where is daddy and doodles she must wonder....Love and miss you ..Laura/mommy

Hi Babe, It's the 29th day of Sept. 2023...I can not even express how much I wish you were here, I feel so lost,alone and disappointed in myself. I really don't think anyone knows what I am feeling and the more I try/attempt to tell people the crazier I think I sound. I want you to know and understand something..I know I asked so much of you having Dad and Mom move in here with us. I know my attention went to their wants and needs and you had to take a back seat.Some people maybe many people feel I did wrong but, I felt and still feel I did what I thought was right. My parents not only brought me in to this world but they fed me, changed my diapers taught me to walk and talk and gave me a wonderful life. I feel I owe them everything and nothing I went through as a grown women was any fault of them. We made bad and thoughtless choices and we didn't handle things in the right way for many years but, that was us not them, we also made great and wonderful choices that brought us back stronger and happier than we ever thought possible and that was all us and are hand work because of the values they gave us throughout my life. I know and understand we grow up differently yet somehow we made it all come together in the long run. I know having my parents live with us was hard on you some of the time and I tried to please everyone yet you always seemed to get the short end of the stick and I am sorry for that. I can not understand how people just think older people are a burden and they convinced themselves that a nursing home is the "best thing for the care they need" I think it is a cop out and they feel their lives are more important and they somehow deserve to live the way they want and do what they want without any thought of the people that brought them into this world and took care of your every need. We owe them our respect and we have to put away our own desires and do what is right and for that I am not sorry I do feel I am doing what is right I am however sorry that you went home before we had a chance to live life as a married couple who had raised their children and could finally relax and enjoy the fruits of their labors. I know there is no way to earn one's way into the gates of heaven but, I do think God knows my heart and knows I am doing what I truly think is right. Mom is now at a point where she needs more care however I believe it is still something I can manage however they (medical care) are not willing and/or able to allow me to handle and give her more pain medication. Her Doctor has been hinting at nursing care here at home that last few visits but, this last visit yesterday she all but insisted. I should be getting a call within the next week or so to have them come over and look at the situation. I just have a bad feeling, the house will not pass, I have to many dogs and the house isn't going to be clean enough or I will not have the equipment they believe I should have. I have been taking care of her for 13 years and it doesn't seem like anyone understands the things we have given up willingly to make sure she is cared for. I have been fighting and fighting to try and keep the cottage up the house up and doing everything for her that she is unable to do herself and nobody cares.I think what burns the most is some people actually believe I did and continue to care for her and her belongings for some kind of big payout. Some people have no idea that people actually do things for other because it is right and some day we will have to stand before the Lord and explain why we did not do what was right. Maybe they just do not believe or maybe they think they can sweet talk their way out of judgement but, I believe God knows your heart and nothing you can say will change that. I don't know what is going to happen and I don't know if I can keep what I promised but, I want you and the Lord thy God to know that I tried so hard but, I can not fight everyone, I am getting tried and weak and I am asking for the Lords help. Please give everyone hugs and kisses up there and as always give doodles a big kiss on her sweet little nose from me. Love always Laura/Mommy and please Lord give me whatever I need to help me keep my mom safe,warm and let me keep my promise .

Hi Babe, It's the 9th day of Sept 2023 Daddy's birthday and 10 years since we lost Zena Marie. I didn't want her to think I forgot and I want you to give her a big hug and kiss for me and tell her I miss her so much. I have been having a rough couple of weeks so I am praying that changes. I miss you all so much and I wish and pray you could just come back home here with me. I just can not figure out what the game plan is here, why am I here, strange now that you have all the answers you can't talk to me. Please please watch over me and if there is any chance or way you can talk to me please try..I love and miss you all so much hugs and kisses to everyone...Love always and forever Laura and Mommy

Hi Babe, Well today our first born little baby boy turns 40, can you believe that? Oh how I wish you were here, I just can't believe it has been that long...He turned out to be a wonderful, caring, thoughtful young man, We should be so proud. I do wish and pray I was able to see him more, I know and understand he is busy I just wish I could see or speak to him more. I miss you so much and tonight I could really need some of your wisdom and advice. Tator and Braydon talked to me about things that I just totally disagree with and wish I could do something. I know they are not my children but,I feel so strongly that what they were saying is so wrong I just want to do something. I pray the Lord will stop this before it gets so out of control, we need the lord back in this country/world now and I pray he will come soon. Please stay with me and guide me through this crazy world I fear the kids are being so mis-lead and they are taking GOD all mighty out of everything, I just do not belong in this world any more and what they are doing scares me to death. The Lord has blessed us and me so much I can not believe he will allow this to happen. I don't know what he wants me to do and what power I would have over anyone. I am not the sharpest tool in the shed and God may have to kick me in the behind to get me to understand but, I need that kind of wake up call as I have no idea how to fix this. Any way please stay with me guide me and give me direction I am lost. Please say hello to everyone and give doodles a big kiss on her sweet little nose from me..I love and miss you sooooooooo much and I need your thoughts and advice...Love you always me...

Hi Babe, It's the 26th of Aug 2023, Douglas's birthday is coming up fast I got him some camping stuff as he wouldn't give me any ideas. Nothing much going on around here,Mom is slowly going down hill which is scary. The twins are doing pretty well sometimes I think Rozy feels a little lost as do I so I try to give her a little more cuddle time. Willow is doing well and she loves to cuddle a night. Rena and Zara are doing well with them both although I think Rena gets a little jealous but, I tell her she is my rock and as been through everything right along with me. I really wish things would be different I just hate this being here without you, nothing feel right and this time heals everything is a load of crap. I just wish this would end and I could just be with you.Everything seems so much and I just can't keep up and whats even worse is some times I just don't even want to any more. In few more days we will be in Sept and then winter which brings the holidays just that thought makes me, well it doesn't matter. I miss you so much and the only comfort I have is knowing you are happy, healthy and safe. Say hello to everyone and give doodles a big kiss on her cute little noses...Love always and I pray I see you soon....me

Hi Baby, I know its been awhile and i am sorry...It is the 9th of Aug. 2023. I guess I am having a not so good day...I feel like I have tried all the tricks to feel better and nothing seems to be working for me. I guess I have always been an old duck so maybe I'm to different then most to have any of the ideas to work. Most people say that it will get better with time what a crock of crap that is. You have been gone just over 2 long years and it still feels like yesterday. Now Corky is gone as well and even Danette appears to be doing far better then me and he just went to heaven a month and a half ago. Mom isn't doing to good these days and even through I know she is 97 and had a wonderful life it still scares me to think of losing her, then i guess I will be nothing more than a widow and a orphan. Douglas will be 40 in a few weeks can you believe that our little boy 40. Elizabeth is really enjoying her job up at the hills with Douglas and they are both making more money then either of us have ever made. I know you would be so proud of both of them as I am. I hope and pray you all are happy and healthy and I hope our furry kids are running free and playing all day long. The new twin girls are doing well, Willow is a little more well behaved then Rozy but, Rozy loves hugs and kisses you all day long. Rena is doing better she uses her leg now and hasn't held it up for awhile but, she has to be careful not to over use it. Well I guess I will sign off...Please give everyone hugs and kisses for me and as always give Doodles a extra big kiss on her sweet little nose.All my love always Laura/Mommy

Hi Babe, well it's the 15th day of July 2023...By now I am sure you know that Corky was called home a few days ago. It appears as if God is filling heaven with a whole lot of excellent people the last several years. Dusty is taking it really hard so if you can please stay close to him and guide him through this time. I still miss you so much every day, losing someone is never easy but, losing your life partner whom you shared a home with and saw every day I think is one of the hardest loses there can be. I know losing a child is very hard and heart braking as children should never die before the parents. I pray God is catching every tear Corky's family is crying and is staying close to all of them and bringing them much needed comfort, We are all counting on the fact that you are by our side every day helping and guiding us on the right path. I love you and miss you so much...Please say hello and give everyone a big hug for me and as always give doodle bugs and extra little kiss on her cute little black nose...Love you always Laura

Hi Babe, Well it's the 29th of June 2023..You have been gone 2 years as of now 9:30pmI had a pretty rough day but, I new it would be.I know it has been over a month since I have wrote you, I guess i was actually attempting not to. Sometimes I really want to but, then I think I can't just keep doing this I don't really know if it helps or hurts. I know this will sound strange but, every day feels like I just lost you yesterday. I attempt to keep going back to that night but, everything is so fuzzy and a blurr yet it feels like yesterday over and over. I can't say I'm not doing ok because I want or need for nothing other than you that is. We did a good job of getting everything ready incase one of us did go the other one would be alright however we couldn't do anything to prepare for the emotional part.I have been praying alot and it does help yet there is such a huge hole and nothing feel the way it use to. I still love this house, yard and area and all in all I do feel safe and secure here. I do wish at times I was about 10 years older yet still able to keep up everything here I am just not looking forward to being alone for so long before I get to see you again. I know we joked about "would we date or remarry if one of us went long before the other but, I just can't even imagine that, I know the vows say until death do us part but, I just don't feel that way I still think of us as married. I don't think I could ever ever feel as comfortable with anyone else as I did with you. Although we went through so many things we never gave up and I believe God rewarded us with this house, property and allowed us to be free of payments although long with every Bible story God demands faithfulness and even in the worst of times we have to remember God is incharge and we must trust him and never turn away or forget the gifts he gave us.We went through so many tests throughout the years I guess this is one I must endure on my own. Not understanding what was really happening with you the last 6 months or so is another cross I must carry every day and I couldn't be more sorry that I was so stupid and I know i deserve to live with that shame and heartache every minute of every day. I do believe and know God is with me because of Rozy I have no dought whatsoever that was a sign letting me know just that, Willow was just the icing on the cake. The puppies are a lot but, they brought a lot of joy and happiness into your house.Elizabeth is liking her new job at LHS and even got to work with Douglas yesterday, it's kind of nice both our kids working together. Douglas still hasn't popped the question to taylor yet I hope they do make it I really like her and Lydia is such a little angel. The boys came over for a few hours the last few days and helped me work in the yard. I got 25 trees and planted them along the fence and we just filled it in with wood chips.I think once I get some decorations and lights it will look nice. I am really trying to keep everything up and looking nice I did not want to disappoint you I know how hard you worked on this place and I never want to make you think I am taking all of this for granted. Well I guess I will start writing you again as not doing it hasn't really helped either. I love and miss you so very much please give everyone hugs and kisses and give doodle bugs a big kiss on her cute little nose from mommy..Hugs and kisses baby.Love always, me.

Hi Babe, It's the 2nd of May 2023...I know it has been a long while, I guess half of me thinks this is stupid but, the other half feels bad when I don't write you. It's been a rough few days, nothing to worry about just feeling down and missing you a lot plus Mom's back kicked in which is also pretty hard. I sure have a lot of things I could use your opinion on these days. John has been in the hospital for about 2 weeks but, Sharon said he maybe coming home today. He was having trouble's with his kidneys not working right which led to more issues but, with any luck he is back on the right track. The kids have been busy both started new jobs or at least new positions so they are busy learning new things. The puppies are doing well and they do add life back to the house, we have sit and shake down now we will work on lay and roll over we will we how that goes. Tomorrow they will be here 2 months already hard to believe. I have a phone meeting with your SS on the 11th so my fingers are crossed the extra money would come in handy as I spent to much the last 2 months or so and that would help to replenish. I pray you Zena, Ripzy Zoey and all our four legged kids are all together I miss you all so much. The world sure doesn't seem to be improving what so ever and I am just waiting for God to make his move as I think it is to far gone for any human to repair this mess.I am so thankful for this home and this property I thank God every day for all the blessings he gave us throughout the years I hate to even think how things would be if nothing had been paid off,or if God didn't bless you with all the know how he gave you to build all these beautiful things. Well I just wanted you to know I have not nor will I ever forget you. Please give everyone a hug and kiss form me and an extra kiss on doodle bugs little nose . Love and miss you all so much..love always Laura/Mommy

Hi Babe,..I know its been awhile sorry about that..It's the 28th of March a few more days and we will be into April. The puppies are doing well Willow ( Wiloughby) is growing although Rozy ( Ron-Ripzy) hasn't really gotten much bigger. They both keep me hopping throughout the day but, I haven't had any real issues. Other than the puppies nothing has really changed much day to day. I have been having some chest pains lately..I am not sure if it is stress related or its getting ready for the big one or it could be I pulled something bringing up wood,who knows. The last few days have been pretty nice and we did lose a lot of snow, I just hope we don't get anymore. I have to pay taxes next month so it's going to be a little tight and then for the next few months I have to replace the money I spent fixing the Rogue so it will be tight for awhile but, actually I don't really need anything so it should be ok. I just pray nothing else goes to crap although I still have to stick some money into the jeep and I have no idea what that will cost. The country is still going to hell as I am sure you must know or I think you would know I really have no idea, why would you worry about matters down here. Mom is doing ok she has more bad days than good ones but, who can blame her. Well that's about all I have Please send my love to all and please give doodle bugs a big kiss on her nose from me..I love you and miss you much...Laura/Mommy

Hi Babe, Everything is ok here we are getting along....The new puppies are doing well and Rens is a great big sister....Things are heating up down here and I hope and pray I am ready to what ever happens to come. I know God is moving and there is a lot of evil down here to deal with. As much as I miss you I do take comfort is knowing you are healthy and safe and you don't have the worries of this world. I think April and May are going to be rough, maybe we will not get hit so hard as those in the bigger cities. God's will..will be done and that is all there is to it....I miss you during these times more than ever as I am not sure what to do or how to do it..I must believe God will take care of us and bring us through the hard time as he has done so many times before. I think I have done what I could I just don't know what else to do. I would love to be able to sit down and speak with you about everything and get your thoughts and ideas. I don't know but, I don't think people understand what is happening or what is going to happen and I can not make anyone understand that really doesn't believe or understand what God is doing. I just hope and pray people turn from the evil ways and turn to the Lord he has written he wishes no man to parish. Please stay with us and guide us as much as you are able...Love to all and an extra kiss on Ripzy's sweet little nose from me..Love always..Laura/Mommy

Hi baby, I know it has been awhile actually I haven't written since your birthday..I guess I try not to some times because I don't know if it is helping move forward or holding me back..I really don't feel like I have moved on what so ever, the nights are still the same has they have been since you left.I did get two puppies Rozy (RO for Ron and ZY for Ripzy and Willow they are both doing really good and Rena is being excellent with them both. I just needed to bring some life back into this house....Mom was sick the other day and then sure enough I got it to but, I think we are both on the mend now. Liz seems to like her new job at LGSO and she is doing well, Douglas had a interview today for a promotion I haven't heard how that went yet. Liz signed both boys up for bible camp the same one her and Douglas went to which I think is a wonderful idea, and having them go to the same camp is even better. I sure wish I knew what God's plan was or is I feel just lost and hopeless, I have no idea what is going to become of my life and I really don't see any bright side. Well I don't want to just cry and complain about everything to you and it looks like it maybe another bad night...these are getting old, yet I can not seem to stop them. My heart and mind play a constant game of tug of war. Well give my love to everyone and an extra kiss on Ripzy Doodle Bugs sweet little nose for me....Love and miss you more and more each day..Laura/Mommy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY>....68 today..I am so sorry I am not there to celebrate with you, either God didn't answer any of my several prayers or he did not listen, either way I am still here and you are still there. It was a rough day a lot of balling and what not, which I am sure or at least hope you already know. Sharon and John stopped by and John went and got me corn for the squirls so they stop eating the bird food. Gasco came and filled us up so we should be good for awhile again. I am just waiting for this day to end although I don't know why I know nothing will be any better tomorrow. I pray you had a wonderful birthday and I pray we will be together for your next one or even for mine that would be great. Please give everyone my love and give Doodle Bugs a big kiss on her cute little black nose for me..I miss her so much....I can't really do this for long as the tears just won't stop today...I am sorry...I love you and miss you so much....Love me.

Hi Baby..I am so sorry once again it's been o long...I been having a lot of mixed feeling lately and I really haven't done anything to write about. I went and looked at a puppy named summer and put 2100 dollars done on her and then found some other puppies that looked alot like Doodle bugs just to find out they were all spoken for, I guess part of me is happy after all my greatest wish is to have all the doggies find nice loving forever homes. I thought I would have brought summer home already but, nothing seems to be going right..she and her siblings are on medication and she is not ready yet. I have been feeling so down and depressed I thought having summer here and maybe her sister would cheer me up but, she/they are not here and I do not know when she/they are coming. You have been gone for a year and a half and I did not feel any better than the first day I actually still haven't made it through one whole day without balling my eyes out. Every one keeps saying it will get better with time ..I think that is a load of crap unless they actually means several years which I do not see me getting too feeling like this. I know it is not my choose to make but, I feel like everything that would possible make me feel better God is blocking and not allowing it to happen which in some ways makes me think maybe what I some time think is the right thing. This is like being between a rock and a hard place situation. If you really think about it I am not needed here any more other taking care of Mom but, I know someone will step in at least I would hope so I mean you just can't throw someone away just because they are old and need help. She still have a lot of wisdom to share for those who really wish to learn. I am so sick of hearing this is a great time to be a live..I can not even imagine a worse time. I do thank God for all the blessings I do enjoy each day he has blessed us so much throughout the years and he gave you so much wisdom to be able to build this wonderful home which I could not be more grateful for although he did let us go through so many trails some of which we passed with flying colors and some we struggled with the whole time and some of which i struggles with to this very day. I guess I keep struggling with the same question day after day when do I know when enough is enough, When is it time to admit defeat and throw in the towel and how do I know when that time is. Is God actually waiting for me to make the move? or am I just testing him? I don't know. My wish is not to cause anyone any pain but, then again I know life will move on and they all have their own battles to conquer and over come and I fear I have become more of a problem than blessing these days. I some times think if Mom wasn't here the answer would be much easier for me, and maybe that is why she is still here but, then I think why is this happening with Summer maybe not giving me a reason to hold on is actually what he is attempting to get through to my head.. I never had two more complete opposite thoughts or signs before.. he really needs to pick one or the other. If this is some kind of strange test I just feel I don't need another hill to climb or bridge to cross over. I know you were a good loving,caring and thought man but, for some reason you had your own hills you had to climb and I really believe God brought us together for me to help you and I did do a lot of thing right but, I now know I did a lot of things wrong, however I always did attempt to do what I felt was the best thing for you, I just wanted you to be happy and have little worries and I knew if I could just get us debt free and own your own home things would be better and you wouldn't feel like you never accomplished anything and we did it although it just wasn't soon enough. You should have had more time to actually enjoy it, some times I think back and say to myself if I would have worked a few more days a week or if I would have went back to school sooner but, what if's will never be and I can not change that. It was so important to me to make sure the kids had a home a real home and I did pay a price for that being gone so much but, I still think giving them a home was worth it and making sure you would be taken care of was worth it....but,know things have gone people have gone and things have moved on and that time has also passed away. I do not regret working so hard and getting things done That I believed to be important what I do regret is not making sure you understood your and the kids happiness and security was what I was attempting to accomplish.I know I could have done some things differently but, at the time I did truly believe with all my heart what and how I did them was the only way I knew how. Well that's about all I guess this is some thing I have to figure out for myself which is hard as I am not the sharpest tool in the shed. Say hello to all and give everyone my love and please please give doodle bugs a big kiss on her sweet little nose from me...love and miss you all...Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby Happy Valentines day....I miss my flowers and balloon, I do have the last balloon you got me it's hanging in your room. The car wouldn't start this afternoon but, it's alright now I needed a new battery. Well tomorrow afternoon I am going to look at some puppies we will see how that goes everything is so different now. If I do bring one home I was thinking of calling her ROZY Ro for ron and zy for ripzy what do you think? There's alot of strange things happening down here, It just seems like one thing right after the other and none of it good. Well thats all I have tonight It's kind of been a long day and I am wore out..Say hello to all and give doodlebugs a big kiss on her cute little nose for me..Love and miss you all....Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, It's the 10th of Feb, 2023...Sorry about yesterday's letter but, thats pretty much what I was/am feeling. I just watched flashpoint which kind of helps me look at things in a better light. Although I basically still feel the same I am attempting to look at what I am and should be grateful for. Joe had the wood delivered today and it is a load full, It went up slightly but, not as much as I was expecting. I hope that guys that uses that big machine can do it this year I feel funny asking Dusty as John as told me that Dusty says I always ask him to work so much he never get to relax although John was talking about the cottage I guess that would be for here as well. I don't want to take advantage of him or anyone else and if I could do it myself I would but,my limitations are many. I am going to have to start doing more things on my own,somethings with mom might be a challenge but, I will figure it out one way or another since I guess I am stuck here for the time being. I washed some of the drapes today I love the wood heat but, it does make things dirty. Rena's next vet visit isn't for a month as the vet has a eye surgery and will be out for awhile I hope that doesn't set any of her healing back. Joann called yesterday not much new over there either although she is working more as her boss and the only other hair cutter is out sick, but other than that pretty much same old stuff.She said it was snowing down there but they really didn't get much snow this winter. I guess it's going to be pretty nice as far as the temp.goes this week high 30'slow 40's pretty good for Feb. Well I guess I will let you go, I sure hope you can see these letters or at least know how much I love and miss you. Please say hello to everyone and give Doodlebug's a big kiss on her sweet little black nose, I miss doing that so much...Love to all Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, Once again I"m very sorry for not writing you sooner.It's the 9th of Feb.2023. I haven't been feeling the best, I'm not sick I'm just sick of this life. I'm actually growing tired of waiting for God to do something, Each day is worse then the next. I was going to go to this party thing for past and current workers of LGSO but, I don't think I'm going to. Everyone will be with someone and have stories about what they have been up to and although I am happy for them all I just have nothing to share and nobody to go with,not that I want any one but, you. I don't want you to think I am not grateful for this house and everything you have done believe me I am very grateful but, without you here to share it with the gratefulness is starting to wade away. I do feel a sense of usefulness taking care of mom the puppies and Diamond I love them all so much but, that to is fading away. I just feel so tired all the time and I haven't returned anyone from works calls, I just don't want to talk to anyone. I was going to go and look at some puppies at the Forest County animal shelter but,now I am thinking I don't know if I would be good at that any more either and how fair is that to such a little helpless puppy. This house that I loved now seems empty and sad and I don't know if bringing a puppy into it would be good for the puppy I am sure there are several people that could do a better job then me right now. All i can think is I must have done something really bad to have God punish me in this way and If I could figure that out or take what ever I did back I would. I often wondered what could be so bad in someones life that they would actually chose not to remain here and I guess I understand now, A person can only wait for something to change for so long before one just has to realize nothing is getting better and the light at the end of the tunnel has gone dark. I couldn't even gather up enough energy to clean today of fold the one basket of laundry I have sitting on the bed. My entire life is getting up, helping mom on and off the toilet throughout the day and going to bed, what a life. Well I guess you are pretty sick of me by now so I willlet you go. Please say hello to everyone and give Doodle bugs a huge kiss on her cute little nose for me...I miss her so much...and please speak to the Lord and tell him I am ready, willing to come home he sure isn't listening to me....I love and miss you every minute of every day...Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, Sorry it has been so long, It's Feb, 4th 2023...Nothing really has changed as far as things go...I still miss you every day and nothing is getting better or worse it just stays the same. It's funny every one else goes on with life as it should but, for me I feel just stuck. I need or want for nothing yet here I am every day is the same. This house feels so empty without Doodle bugs and I miss everything about her. I keep attempting to research life but, the more I read and listen the dumber I get right when I start to think I am getting it something comes to mind that brings me right back to the start line. I did call Joe and order more wood although he couldn't give me a date yet. John has not been feeling so well these days and Sharon doesn't know what to do with herself half the time either. I know they say life is a gift but, not from where I am sitting. Mom had a pretty bad night last night..I am still not sure what was going on but, she was pretty upset. The kids and grandkids are doing well although I don't see them to much these days they have their own lives to live and they are busy. Now Butch is up there with you too and Cathy is alone I hope she is doing well although if she is anything like me I know how hard it is. Well thats about it as I can hardly see through the tears tonight..Please give my love to all and give Doodles a big kiss on her cute little nose for me..Love and miss you all...I hope and pray I will see you all soon..Love always Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, Sorry it has been so long...I never really do or here anything so there is not much to talk with you about. The world is still a mess and getting crazier each passing day. I just want to be done and come live with you, Well not until Mom goes to be with dad but, any time after that would be just fine with me. I am not much more than a pain in the back side to anyone these days and I am trying not to be a pain to anyone so I am attempting to pay the bills on this new system but, ofcourse I didn't actually get it all right. I have been limiting my requests from getting things from walmart (extra) and I have drove myself there twice now I think. I don't really need for anything and I love the house, yard, ect..but, actually this isn't a life...I am not complaining I know there are so many people that have so much less I just miss you and doodles and the house feels so empty all the time. It's alittle depressing to hear " why can't I just die already" almost every day in some form or another so maybe that's getting to me alittle also. Well enough complaining about things I have no reason or right to complain about...Please give all my love to all and remember how much I love and miss you and I wish I was with you..Give Doodle Bugs a big kiss on her cute little nose for me, I miss everything about her but I miss kissing that little nose so much. Love you Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, It's the 12th of Jan, 2023..Tomorrow will be Friday the 13th....I worked on the driveway a good part of the day attempting to remove some of the ice and the stuff that falls off the roof. It's been in the 30's all week so everything is melting which is good. We have been having three deer in the front yard almost every night eating all my bird food. Elizabeth called this evening and said Dusty had broken 2 of his ribs and is in a lot of pain and they are painful. It was just a freak accident he didn't fall or anything but, he is going to be one hurting unit for awhile. Douglas finally made it home from his Hawaii vacation yesterday afternoon. What a mess that was they shut down all air travel for a whole day which hasn't happened since 9/11. I told him I know your almost 40 but, no more air travel vacations for awhile my heart can't take the worry. He actually agreed and said the cottage is going to be vacations for awhile.Braydon's fever has broke but, the poor little guy is just wore out and can't stay awake so he is going to stay home tomorrow and hopefully a long weekend of rest will get him back up on his feet. Liz stopped by and grabbed some large ace raps so Dusty can hold his ribs tighter which I pray works I remember how much they hurt. I also sent some bean soup home with her for him going to the bathroom isn't going to be a picnic. Rena's appointment went pretty good yesterday I really think she knows we are attempting to help her feel better. I ordered her a leg brace which I hope comes tomorrow to help give her leg a little support. Jackie called today and her and Debbie are going to stop by Sat. to visit mom for a little while. Well that's about all I have for tonight...I love and miss you so much...please give everyone hugs and kisses for me and give Doodles a extra kiss on her little cute nose from me...Love you all so much and I can not wait until we are all together again.. Love Laura/ Mommy

Hi Baby, I didn't do anything today and I mean nothing....Braydon was still not feeling well today and stayed home from school but, Liz is going to try sending him tomorrow. Douglas is having a heck of a time..They left Hawaii late last night and were to arrive in Cwa at 12:35pm this afternoon but, the weather was so foggy they ended up going to Milwaukee and had to stay there several hours. Then they attempted to go back to CWA but, they still couldn't land and ended up in Chicago. The airline is putting them up in a hotel for the night and going to attempt to get them to CWA early Wed. morning. Doug said he was flying for 28 hours today. It looked like a wonderful vacation but, the ending sure could have been better. Please kept a watch over them and help them return home safe and sound. Rena's vet appointment is at 3:00pm tomorrow I hope that goes well then she has another appointment on the 16th which is Monday at the Animal hospital to get a good check over to make sure what is going on and figure out what we have to do next. I feel so bad for her she hardly uses that leg at all anymore. I am sure it is going to cost a arm and leg but, I can't make her go on like this much longer. Well that's about all for today...Hugs and kisses to all and an extra little kiss on Doodle Bugs cute little nose from me...I miss you all so much...Love Laura/Mommy.

Hi Baby, Well it's the 9th of Jan 2023...Sorry it's been a few days,The truth is I really had nothing to share with you as I really haven't done anything worth reporting. Douglas and Taylor are coming back from Hawaii tonight and they will be landing at CWA at approx.12:30pm tomorrow. Thats a long flight with one layover. It looks like they had a wonderful time by the pictures they posted it sure is a beautiful place. Elizabeth had to stay home today as Braydon was not feeling well...He had a fever a day or so ago but, I thought he was feeling better as he went ice-fishing on Sunday. I have a vet appointment on Wed. for Rena so we will see where we are as far as what has to be done with her leg, she really doesn't use it anymore which worries me alot. Anyway other than that I really haven't done much..Liz took me to walmart the other day so I am set as far as that stuff goes. Well. I love and miss you much..please give hugs and kisses to everyone and an extra special kiss on Doodle Bugs little cute nose just from me...Love to all...Laura/Mommy

Happy New year Baby, It is Jan.1st 2023 and I still miss you like crazy...I don't really have any higher hopes for this year as the last two were really bad. Douglas should either be or will shortly be arriving in Hawaii shortly. They went with several other people so he should have a nice time and the weather should be wonderful not to mention all the pineapple one can eat..yummy. Liz stopped over today and we gave Mom a shower she hasn't had one since before Liz'a vacation so almost a month. The next two Wednesday's Rena has vet appointments so I hope the weather stays half way decent. Well I haven't done anything so nothing to report...Happy New year and hugs and kisses to everyone and an extra kiss on Doodle Bugs cute little sweet nose for me..Love and miss you all so much...Love Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, Happy New Years Eve.....I hope you are doing well and doodle bugs is keeping you busy...Mom went to bed at 6:00 pm tonight and I am just about ready myself, I don't have any high hopes for 2023 as you most likely still will not be here....What happened to ask and you shall receive? I have asked and asked...Douglas just dropped off his kitty and is dropping off his doggie at Liz's before handing off to vacation tomorrow morning. I am just going to relax and wait till morning which means another year without you so not much to look forward to.I am not in the best of moods but, I did want to say happy new years eve...Hugs and kisses to all and an extra kiss on Doodle Bugs cute little nose from me....Love and miss you all ....Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, the kids and their families came over along with John and Sharon.. Liz and Dusty made a wonderful ham dinner with all the normal sides to go with it. Everyone got a few very nice gifts and had a good time,although I did catch myself looking over at the chair I new you would have been sitting in but, I did manage to hold myself together. The doggies ate so much they can't even move. I sent a plate home with Douglas and Sharon for their doggies as well. It sounded like both boys liked all the gifts we got them this year, their getting a little harder to buy for as they get older. I though the weather was going to start warming up a bit but, dusty said were going to get some sleet on either Tuesday or Thursday I can't recall what day he said. Rena goes to the vet on Wed. so I hope the roads will be in good condition. I do hope you were looking down on all of us today I would like to think you were here is some way. I am glad the holidays are over though they are pretty hard but, I think winter is here to stay for a long while. Well Baby...hugs and kisses to everyone and a special little kiss on Doodle Bugs nose form me..I love and miss you all so much..love Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby,...Merry Christmas! I bet there is a huge celebration up in heaven today celebrating the Lord's Birthday. The kids are coming over tomorrow along with John and Sharon. Although I realize the importance of the day celebrating is a lot harder without you here. I do hope and pray you are having a wonderful time celebrating with the Lord himself has to be the greatest thing ever. I hope all out furry kids are also having a great time running and playing and celebrating in their own way. Have a wonderful Christmas and please give everyone a hug and a kiss from me and mom and an extra kiss on Doodle Bugs little nose from me... Merry Christmas I love and miss you all.

Hi Baby, Sorry it's been a few days I am not feeling the best....Happy Christmas Eve...I know it is nicer there then it is here..It has been so cold out -20,-30 below wind chills and -14 degrees in the mornings..burr...There a lot of people in New York without power or heat, some places have flooding its bad all over. Liz and the family went to dusty's parents house for Christmas dinner and I believe Douglas and family are eating at Taylor's parents house and then they both work tomorrow on Christmas day. We are having dinner here on the 26th for some reason the kids want to I guess, but, I really don't care one way or the other It's just not Christmas anymore I guess the time has now passed. I am sure many people in my shoe's feel the same way. It's starting to look like its going to be along cold snowy winter but, as they say you have to go through it to get it over with. I picked the boys up a few more things yesterday for Christmas some boots, jogging suits and a coat nothing they really couldn't use. Starting the 1st of the year I have to really get back on track...which should be fine as I have plenty in the house it's all the bad habits that cost so much. I bet God and Jesus really celebrate Jesus's birth hard there , I hope you are having a wonderful time and I hope all our furry kids are having the time of their lives as well. Things down here are just getting crazier and crazier right when you think it couldn't get any worse it does. I believe God is the only one who can fix this mess I think it is way to far gone for any person to do anything. Jackie called and I guess Mike is going through a lot of pain and it doesn't sound like the Dr. knows why or how to help him. I guess everyone else is doing alright, although Sharon said Kevin and his family are all sick this Christmas. I didn't know what to get Mom so I just got her a big barrel thing full of cheese balls, I know she like's them...lol I have been putting the slippers you got me our last Christmas together on her as her foot get like ice and sock's hurt her toes. Well Baby, that's about all, I am going to take some more meds so my nose stops dripping. Merry Christmas Eve and hugs and kisses to all and an extra little kiss on Doodle Bugs sweet little nose from me..I love and miss you all...Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, It's Tuesday the 20th of December 2022...This is going to be short tonight I just didn't want you to think I forgot about you....I shoveled a lot today and I am starting to feel every bit of it. It sounds like Elizabeth got the 911 operator job as long as she passes her drug and hearing test which won't be a problem. I haven't heard anything from Douglas so I don't know how his boy's weekend at the cottage was. I hope they all had a good time. It sounds like it's going to get cold really cold -45 degrees wild chill BURR.... I did bring in some wood today as well and I will bring some more in tomorrow..Rena's vet appointment is tomorrow at 2:45 I pray all goes well there. Well baby like I said short and sweet tonight as it is late and I feel every bit of that shoveling today...getting old...how I wish I could have grown old along side you. Please give hugs and kisses to all and as always an extra kiss on Doodle Bugs little sweet nose for me...I love and miss you all every minute of every day...Love always Laura/ Mommy

Hi Baby, It's the 19th of December 2022....I finished listening to the book of Genesis and started the book of Exodus my goal is to listen to and read a long in the Bible until I get to the end however long that takes. Other than doing that I really didn't do much today, Rena has a Vet. appt. on Wed at 2:45pm and I don't really plan on going anywhere until then. I am hoping something can be done other than surgery but,we will see..it is what it is I guess. Things just appear to be getting crazier and crazier down here....but, I am trusting in God and believe he has this in his control, as the song goes "he has the whole world in is hands" It is just getting harder and harder to know who is telling the truth and who is not. They say this is almost over but, we have been waiting so long and thought it was going to be over several times. These are the times that I feel good that you, dad Ripzy, Zara, Zoey and all the others are safe and healthy and God saved you all from going through this nightmare. They said God places everyone where he needs you although I don't know what I can possible do and so far he has not let me know that I am aware of anyway. He must know something about me that I am not aware of,either way as for me this property and this house we will serve the Lord. I just feel better knowing you are up there taking care of all our furry little kids and you are all safe even though I miss you all so very much. I pray and pray that Gods mighty hands are moving and he will put an end to all this as he is the only one who can. They took God out of the world and the world fell apart. I know that he has the power to change all things in a twinkle of his eye and he and only he knows what has happened what is happening and what will happen. I am attempting to place my entire faith in him and I truly do trust in him, it's just hard not to lose sight when you are surrounded by nothing but bad and sad news. I just have to work harder and pray more and ask for his help to over come. Well Baby, hugs and kisses to all, I love and miss you very much and I have a heavy heart that I just wasn't smart enough to really understand all your struggles here. I just want to you know I only wanted the best for you for us that's why I fought so hard. I never meant to make you feel bad or unwanted or unloved never I just wanted the best for us all and I never meant to cause you any pain or suffering. I now understand and know I sure could have handled everything much better and for that I am sorry. Even though we had rough times you were the best thing that happened to me...and we made two wonderful children...Please give Doodle Bugs her extra little kiss on her little cute button nose for me..All my love always Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, It's Saturday the 17th of December 2022....Liz picked me up at about 1pm and took me shopping at walmart,I actually stayed on budget this time which is harder now that everything is so pricey. Aiden stayed here and watch G-ma for me and he brought me in some firewood which was nice as I have told you it for some reason getting harder to do. I made a batch chilli today for tomorrow or for however long it last. It's kind of hard to cook now, I make all the same stuff but, we end up eating it for several days. The snow plow guy came this afternoon which was great..I guess he has been plowing and plowing, I was getting a little concerned he didn't understand that I wanted him to keep doing it each year. He did a good job so I paid him and gave him some muffins I had made. I think I am all done with Christmas stuff except I didn't get anything for Mom not that she would care one way or the other. I hope the boy's will understand and remember the Mexico trip was the big part of their Christmas gift as I really didn't get them much else. Well that is about all I have tonight honey, I love and miss you so much....Give hugs and kisses to everyone and as always give doodle bugs an extra big kiss on her little cute black nose for me..Love always and forever Laura / Mommy. xxoo PS. please keep watching over us all we need it.

Hi Baby, Well it is Friday the 16th of December 2022....We got the cow today and split it all up. Douglas came down and was able to take his home which was good because I didn't really have room and it was a lot to keep out on the deck in cardboard boxes witch would have gotten wet and fallen apart. Since we gave Liz and her family that Mexico trip I only got the boys like two things each which Liz ordered for me on the computer so I don't have to try and find something at walmart. We also ordered Lydia's gift as well so between the few gifts, the trip and the cow I am done and broke. I am really going buckle down this coming year and replace my savings if possible. The way things are going I am just waiting for the next bad thing to pop out....Douglas and a few friends went up to the cottage this weekend, I hope all goes well as they have to turn on the water and then back off again, hopefully one of the guys will know something about that kind of stuff. The plow guy still hasn't come yet I hope he knows I want him to. Liz said dusty talked to him early about it so I don't know if he is that busy or what. I don't know what everyone's doing for Christmas this year but, I pray they have it at liz's house or anywhere but here. I think this Holiday season is even harder than last year, I just don't feel like celebrating whatsoever. Nothing's the same and I know I should focus on making new memories but, I like the memories I have and I just want to keep those. I actually just wish the entire season was just over or I could just go to bed and stay there until they were. I am getting very tired of people telling me to stop worrying and getting upset over everything, sometimes I wish I could just take the dogs and go somewhere where nobody knows me and I could just live on some land in a house the size of a one car garage with a huge fence around it and maybe a nice big pond and a garden. Everything seems to be getting so hard to keep up with just bringing in wood is get harder. Well I don't want to bore you with any more of my issues so as always Ilove and miss you tons...Please give hugs and kisses to all and give Doodle bugs an extra kiss on her cute little nose for me...Love always Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, It's the 14th of December 22...Liz and I took Rens to the Vet yesterday and she has to have surgery on her right back left leg. Although Sharon's neighbor said they said the same ting about her dog and she took her dog to a special Dr in rhinelander and it took 6 months but, he is fine now without surgery. I think I may check that out it can't hurt. We are having a ice storm here and then it going to change to snow sometime tonight or early morning 6 to 18 inches depending where you are. Some places a little south from us have lost power I pray we don't but, the snow is going to be heavy they say. Maybe I will have the big one attempting to shovel it....that would be about right. Liz took off today because of the weather and Douglas had the day off so thank goodness they were not driving, although tomorrow doesn't sound like it's going to be much better. Rena and Zara got refills on their medications and Rena also got a muscle relaxer. I feel so bad for her hopping around but, the pills does help her relax and sleep. Trying to keep a doggie off her leg is a huge undertaking she just doesn't want to sit still for long. They say the surgery will be 4,500.00 most likely 5,000 after rehab and what not which although is a lot I will pay she is worth it but, I think I will check out Lee's ( Sharon's Neighbor ) Dr. in Rhinelander just for piece of mind and if don't have to spend the money that would help too. Rena and I haven't really been apart much and when we were you were here and she was in her own home, I don't think she will like being without me and she will be so scared which makes me feel bad. It's so hard because they just don't understand what is happening. It just seems like bad things are happening one right after another and I know it could have been worse but, this is plenty bad. Liz got a call from Langlade and has to go in and get a drug test for the job she applied for so she is still in the running, the wheels of justice move slowly. Well that's about it for tonight as always love to all and give Doodle Bugs wiggle bump a extra special kiss on her sweet little cute black nose...Love to all and miss you all....Love Laura/Mommy

Hi baby, It's the 12th of December 2022..Well I ran into town this morning and went to the post office to mail those pillows I told you about..$44.00 to mail 3 pillows how crazy is that, they weight nothing. I swear I no longer belong in this crazy world. I thought we were getting our cow tonight so I attempted to clean out/rearrange the freezer that didn't go well, but, I did what I could. Turns out we are getting the cow on Friday instead although I don't know as the weather is not going to be on our side. Rena as a Vet. appointment tomorrow at 4pm but, the freezing rain isn't scheduled to come until 7 ish so I hope we make it there and back without any trouble. I don't know if it is Rena's leg, hip or foot but something in her right back leg area isn't right.She either limbs on it or holds it up and doesn't put any weight on it at all however when I move it around and bend it she is fine with it, so I have no idea I just pray it is a sprain or twist something like that. Zara"s ear is better than it was but, it is not cured and still bothers her I think she needs another round of pills as we already went through a tube and a half of the ear cream. I swear between losing you in 21 losing Ripzy in 22 and now with both doggies having issues I just feel so over whelmed and then you put Mom on top of the pile and wow...I just can not catch a breath. Bringing up firewood is kicking my ass I can't even count how many times I have fallen down that ramp, I am getting old and just can't seem to keep up any more. At this rate Mom is going to out last me and personally If I was sure someone would take her in and take care of her I would be just fine with that, I am so ready to go although the doggies would have to come with. It sounds like we are going to get freezing rain then snow a few inches I guess so I better bring up a few days worth of wood tomorrow morning. I know I am only going to be 60 but, man this year has hit me like a ton of bricks..My back hurts all the time,my legs are really bad and that balance of nature that I have been taking for my gut problem doesn't seem to be working as good as it use to. Everything is going all at once which depending on how you look at it can be good or bad I guess. Mom's legs are getting weaker and weaker which means more lifting and some days it can be pretty hard. God bless her heart she try's and it is not any fault of hers I personally think for someone going on 97 she is doing very well. She still has a unbelievable memory but, she does struggle to find her worlds. She knows what she wants to say but, sometimes has trouble getting the right words out which has to be fustrating for her. It doesn't help that her ears and eye's are getting worse all the time but, all in all I think she is doing very well for her age. I have to make a DR. appointment for her soon, I just wish it wouldn't be in the winter as it takes 3 or 4 of us to get her down thher own life and If I don't stope stairs and in the car. She only has to go 2 or 3 times a year which wasn't an issue when she was able to walk but, now it is harder , you have to take her or they won't refill all her meds. I have been thinking and I have to start doing more things on my own, I have been leaning on Liz way to much, she has her own life to live and I am afraid she is going to start hating me and that's the last thing I would every want. Next time she comes over I am going to have her really show me this new bill pay thing and start doing it on my own. I am just going to have to trust God to keep mom safe as I run into town or to the bank ect...But, I can not keep taking all her time. Maybe tomorrow morning if the weather holds out I will run to Antigo and go to the bank and get the taxes taken care of for here and the cottage. It's funny but, I always felt pretty strong and independent but, know I feel anything but that. I guess I was those things because at certain times I felt I had to be but,now I have so many doubts and seem to worry about everything which as you know solves nothing. Going through harder times doesn't worry me as I have done that plenty it's having someone counting on me foe everything that worries me..Staying away to long can result in some really big problems. Well either way I have to get my back side in gear and do things myself...Well I have ranted enough for one day...As always hugs and kisses to all and an extra kiss on Ripzy's ( doodle bugs ) cute little sweet nose from me...I love and miss you all...Love always Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, Well it is the 11th of December 2022 and both your kids are home safe and sound. Thank you for watching over them. Douglas came over this morning and picked up his kitty but, his car rogue ) broke down on the way home I think it is junk now. I told him he can come get the car until he can buy another one. Elizabeth came over this evening and we paid off her trip and the monthly bills since snow is in the forecast I told her to go ahead and take the jeep as she has to drive to Wausau every day. So all I have left for Douglas is the car but, he is only 10 minutes away from work so that's not to bad. I don't need them as long as liz takes me shopping Monday to get the things I will need for a week or so. I worry about them driving in crappy weather with bad cars. Douglas said he is going to look at trucks this time....oh how far we have come...lol. I just heard on the news with all this crap about electric cars and hoe pricey they are to make and buy Jeep is moving to Mexico..unbelievable. Everything is going down the tubes here, the bigger cities are so unsafe things are so expensive nothing is good nothing. As much as I want you back home here with me I am glad you are safe, happy and healthy, the house just feels so empty without you and doodles. Well that's about all honey..as always all my love to all and an extra kiss on doodles bugs little cute black nose for me...I miss and love you all so much...love Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, Well it's the 10th of December 2022,..Liz arrived home safe and sound and Douglas is driving home tonight from MSP. Either Douglas or Taylor are going to let me know when they actually home. I pray the roads aren't in bad shape for driving. According to all the pictures it looks like they all had wonderful vacations. Douglas and Taylor are going on Vacation again the 1st of Jan.2023 so they are on the go a lot. I just wanted to tell you both kids are back in the USA safe and sound and to say thank you for keeping a eye on them and keeping them all safe. It snowed really lightly most of the day but, I guess Tuesday is going to end up with a few inches. Well until tomorrow my love to all and an extra kiss on doodle bugs nose from me. Love and miss you all.....Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, Well it Friday the 9th of December 22, Liz and the family just landed at CWA about 10 or 15 minutes ago vacation is over. It's really going to feel cold after being in 80 degree weather for a week. I went over to their house about 2pm this afternoon and did the boys stockings and the elf on the shelve thing so they will have a little surprise when they get home. It sure sounds like everyone had a wonderful time I am glad we could do that for them at least we made one of her items on the list happen. Doug comes home tomorrow he fly's into MSP and has to drive back home I hope the weather won't be bad for driving. They are calling for snow on Tuesday I don't know how much yet but, it doesn't sound good. I have an appointment for Rena at the vet on tuesday so I will have to see what the weather actually does. I did a little cleaning today but, not much, I did make a warm safe house for my bunny friend under the big pine tree, I hope she uses it and is safe there. Well that's about it for the day here, so until tomorrow hugs and kisses to all and a extra kiss on doodles bugs little sweet cute nose for me....Love and miss you all so much....Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, Well today was Liz's last full day of vacation they come home tomorrow about 10pm. It sounds like they made the most of it and had a all day fun day. Douglas comes home Saturday. I have to go over to liz's tomorrow afternoon and put the boys stocking up before they get home. Rena's right back leg has been bothering her on and off for about 2 weeks and yesterday she was holding it up so I called the vet and made her an appointment for tues. at 4pm. They gave me some pain meds to help her through so I had to go get them today, almost $60.00 for 15 pills...wow! although they did seem to help her so money well spent. After I pay everything for liz's trip off and get the cow paid I am really going to tighten the belt for awhile to rebuild the savings. It will be cold and icky outside so I am just going to stay here and with the beef,potatoes from Jolene and what I have in the freezer I shouldn't be in to bad of shape. I think it is going to be a cold dark winter the way the world is going. John Paul Jackson was so right..what was right is wrong what was up is now down everything is inside out...Remember I told you if they take God out of everything the world would fall apart? Well they did and it is. I know it sounds strange because I miss you so much but, I do find comfort in knowing you are happy, safe and most of all healthy. Just please take care of all our beautiful, wonderful furry kids ( I know you do ) they were such a blessing to our family...Love.hugs and kisses to everyone and an extra kiss on Doodle bugs cute little nose...Love and miss you..Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, Sorry I didn't write last night, I had planned on writing you this morning but, well ya know it's been a rough day. I just wonder how long this will continue to go on. It sounds like the kids are both having a wonderful time...Liz and the family went swimming with the dolphins today. They we going to attend the park activities right next to the dolphins but, the park was closed so they are going to another park for a day of fun on Thursday. Tomorrow morning they are going deep sea fishing, Tator should really enjoy that. I hope his catches something huge. Taylor had her birthday on her vacation and I got a picture of her with this cake that had a huge firecracker looking candle in it and it look like the staff was singing happy birthday. She also sent a picture of her holding a little cute as a bug monkey. I filled out an application for a little 7 month old doggie here in merrill but, I wasn't picked....I prayed on it and I guess God didn't think it was the right one or it wasn't the right time. I am sure there will be plenty more this summer. The house just feel rather empty without you and doodle bugs. Mom had a pretty good day and again I didn't really do anything. Thursday I have to go to liz's and hang up the kids stockings and putout the elf on a shelve. Liz comes home Friday and Douglas comes home Saturday, then I think we have to pick up the cow. Well Hon that's about all I have for tonight..Hugs and kisses to all and an extra kiss on the nose for little sweet doodle bugs...Love and miss you all...Laura/Mommy

Hi, Baby, HAPPY 40th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY! This day should have been more like me putting a couple steaks on the grill for our anniversary dinner but, instead i'm writing you a letter. Well anyway...Liz sand the family seems to be having a wonderful time on their vacation, I haven't heard anymore from Douglas yet. I am very glad we made one of her dreams come true. I once again didn't do anything today other than take out the garbage. I found this little doggie who looks a lot like ripzy doodle bugs at the animal shelter here in town, her name is Nova. I wrote Kassie to ask what I would have to do to bring her home and you have to fill out an app. and bring Rena to meet her and I guess they run a credit / back ground check on everyone in the house. It sure isn't like it used to be. I am not worried about Rena but, Zara maybe a little upset. She is so cute and I love her already but, I wonder if I am taking on to much but, than again I had three before. She's 6 months old and is black and white just like Ripzy. I guess I will sleep on it and ask God to help me make the right call. I think no matter what I am going to have to get my but in gear and start doing something tomorrow..oh I also brought in wood today so that is something. Well that's about all as always hugs and kisses to everyone and doodle bugs gets a extra kiss on her cute little nose. Love you all and miss you all...Laura/mommy

Hi Baby, Well both our kids made it to their vacation destinations without any problems. Liz's plane was delayed in CWA making it a close call to catch their connecting flight but, they did make it. Douglas said " this place is amazing" so I think he is enjoying it so far. Liz's and her family got to the hotel and they all were staving so they went out to eat and I guess they were going to the beach afterwards. Like she always said she wanted to put her toe in the ocean. I pray they all have a wonderful amazing time without any troubles. Tomorrow is our 40th wedding anniversary...I think it going to be a hard sad day but, I am going to trust in God that he knows what is best for both of us. Even though I do not see it now maybe some day I will have the knowledge and understanding I require to make sense of it all. Mom had a pretty good day today I however really didn't do to much. I was hoping to start Genesis but, that didn't happen today maybe tomorrow. I miss all of you so much, the house seems so empty without you all here. I am babysitting Douglas's cat but, she don't feel to at home yet although she is eating and she allows me to pet her for a short period of time. Well that's about all I have. as always hugs and kisses to all and give doodles an extra kissy on her nose for me and tell them all I love them very much. Love always Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, Well Liz and her family leave on their trip early early tomorrow morning. They will be gone until the 9th. I guess it is a good day to go since it's only going to be a high of 17 degrees tomorrow and Mexico is going to be 84 degrees. Douglas and Taylor take off from IL. airport tomorrow morning as well. Liz took me shopping and to the bank today so with any luck I won't have to go anywhere while she is gone.I forgot to order mom's pills today which is bad because now I have to wait until Monday but, it should be ok. I don't know if I have been sleeping funny or if lifting mom is doing it but, lately my back has just been killing me. Everything here is good I guess It's not the same without you and doodle bugs thats for sure but, we are making it day to day some how. I would go and get another dog asap but, I am worried about Zara as she just doesn't like other dogs and I don't need any fighting. Then I think maybe I shouldn't as I do feel my plate is pretty full with mom and the two doggies that are still with me and of course diamond who may not like having another unknown dog in the house. The house just feels so empty now. I was going to read the book of Genesis with Wendy last month but, I didn't do it..I have to sit down and get that done hopefully while liz is away something to keep me occupied and teach myself something. Please keep watch over the kids as they are on their vacations, ask Father God to place his armor over them to keep them safe, I have been asking him too. I sure wish I knew why he took you home so early in your life and why he didn't heal you. I guess since you are happy,healthy and safe God taking you home so early is more painful for me so once again I am being selfish. I never want you to feel bad you fought a good fight I would just be over joyed to have you back. I am glad that you were there for doodle bugs and I pray she is having so much fun and is playing and playing. In 2 more days will be our 40th wedding anniversary, I know our vows said "till death do us part" but as for me we are still married although i don't know what God has in store for the rest of my life. I do know however what ever it is it will be right and I will do my best to trust him even if it sounds frightening. Well baby until tomorrow please give hugs and kisses to everyone and give doodles a extra kiss on her little black button nose. I miss you and love you all...Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, Well here it is December 1st. 2002....Douglas came over and brought his kitty whom I am babysitting while there are away on vacation ..She is a cutie, although diamond doesn't know what to think about her. Dusty and Liz also came over to give Zara her ear meds. Douglas and Elizabeth brough over their trip info..you know the plane number flight info and hotel info ect...I pray they all have a wonderful time. I did clean up the hutch today although I only got half way on the cabinets did one have one to go. Liz and I gave Mom a shower so she should be good for awhile.Liz and I are going to Antigo tomorrow to get a few things before she leaves. I don't want to run into town while they are gone leaving mom home alone. Douglas drives to Minn. tomorrow and takes off Sat. morning and Liz takes off from mosinee early sat. morning. Make sure you watch over both of them. I guess Tator and Brydon are getting excited Braydon was nervous about the plane but, I think he will like it. I hope Tator catches some really big monster fish, something he will remember forever. Either way I just hope they are all old enough to remember the trip. The phones now take such good pictures they should get some nice ones to place in a album. Well as always hugs and kisses to all..I love and miss you more and more each day..Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, Well I kept pretty busy today attempting to get into Christmas a little bit. I baked 24 muffins and 4 loafs of bread, I decorated a little and listen to some good old Christmas music. It was cold and windy outside today, I thought baking would help heat up the house a little more.Tomorrow I have to tackle the hutch as it has collected a lot of junk and it is so nice I don't want it looking all messing and full of crap, plus it makes the whole room look messy. Although I am attempting to be joyful in the day the Lord has made I have to say the holidays are really hard without you here. All the people I listen to on the computer say the same thing. Keep moving forward you don't know what God has planned for the rest of your life, but, know that he made you to be here in this time going through whatever you are going through for a reason...trust in him! Believe me I really think I am trying to do just that however some times are easier than others. Losing Doodle bugs right before the holidays didn't help anything either although I know she was having a hard time with just about everything. I really don't know what I would have done in the winter she sure couldn't just walk around outside in the snow, cold, wind, she was so skinny, and the snow always stuck to her feet. I pray she is just having so much fun chasing her balls and running through fields of beautiful wild flowers with her sister Zena, at least that's how I like to picture her. Well as always I love and miss you so much...Hugs and kisses to everyone and I hope to see you all soon...Love always Laura/Mommy

Hi baby, Well it rained almost all day and now it is changing over to slushy snow. i pray the roads will be ok for people driving to work in the morning. I guess they said very windy tomorrow, I am so grateful I don't have to go any where any more if I chose not to. Some other southern state are having really bad weather tonight, twisters coming in the middle of the night in a bad situation. I kept busy today, I made a crockpot of pea soup which I placed in the freezer, made a hot dish for tomorrow's dinner and we ended up having chicken tonight. I thought if the weather was going to be crappy tomorrow I would make some muffins and bread. Using the oven will help heat up the house as well. I am not looking forward to winter at all, I think it can be pretty and even relaxing at times but, being alone makes everything seem dull,cold and the days are so long. I think I am going to order some more wood from Joe within the next month or so before the prices really go up. Well hugs and kisses to all....love and miss you all very much....Laura/Mommy

Hi Baby, It's the 28th of November 2022.....I didn't do much again today I just can't seem to get going on anything. I did get the towels I ordered from my pillow they seem pretty nice. Liz applied for a 911 dispatcher position at Langlade County. She made it through to the background check portion so far. The background check have gotten crazy she brought over a 21 page package she had to fill out. They want to know everything. She finished filling out most of it here but, she has to call the highschool and NTC and get the paperwork sent to LGSO. I heard on the news that the weather is going to get bad rain, sleet, snow starting tonight or tomorrow morning so I had Liz take the jeep home, as I don't plan on leaving the house and she really needs a new car or truck. I just don't care for driving in bad weather as you are well aware and I would rather she drive a reliable car. Both the kids trips are coming up fast please keep and eye on them and send angels to help guide their way there and back safely. I dislike the thought of going through another long hard winter without you, the days and nights just seem to last forever. It would be nice if she did get this position working for the same department as I did but, I think it will be nights and that maybe hard for her to get use to. Well please give hugs and kisses to everyone and a special kiss on doodle bugs little black cute nose that's where I kissed her all the time. I love and miss you all so much....Laura/Mommy

Hi baby, Well it is the 27th of November 2022 Elizabeth's 37th birthday. I pray you watched over her today and helped her celebrate with cake tonight. We went to walmart today and she filled the jeep up with gas so I shouldn't need anything while they are all gone on vacation. I told Douglas to call me before he leave's on vacation but, sometimes he remembers and sometimes not, so we will see. I hope he remembers. Other than running to walmart and getting gas I didn't do much else. I can't believe Christmas is less than a month away not that I plan on doing much. I just like staying here at home where you and doodle bugs are all around me. I think Zara's ear is getting better but, I am going to try and get her another tube of hear drops just to be safe. I know she doesn't care for them but,it has to be better than having a ear ache all the time. Well nothing else to report so hugs and kisses to all...Love you much......Laura

Hi Baby, It's the 26st of November 2022. Tomorrow is Elizabeth's 37th Birthday...I can't believe our little girl is going to be 37...We made and raised two of the best children anyone could ever ask for. I am going to make this letter really short as the computer is acting strange and I don't want to lose this letter. I just want you to know that I think about you every day several times during the day and actually most of the day. Everything in this house reminds me of you which is the reason I will never leave this house at least by choice. Make sure you check in with Liz tomorrow and wish her a happy birthday. We bought her a heated vest thing used for hunting or just in cold weather I guess, anyway that's what she picked out and she likes it. Please watch over both kids and their families while they are away on their trips that would bring me a lot of comfort. Well this computer is being crazy so I am going to let you go..hugs and kisses to everyone and give our furry kids an extra big hug from me, I miss them so much. I pray doodles is doing well I her so much...I love and miss you every minute of every day....Laura

Hi Baby, Well it's the end of another day. It has been pretty warm the last few days so most of the snow has melted. I am welcoming the warmer weather so I don't have to use the heat so much. I have been limiting myself to two or three hours of heat per day and using the wood stove most of the time. You would be shocked at these prices 4 and 5 dollars for a dozen eggs it's just crazy. We are still doing alright once I get Liz's trip and the cow paid for I am going to really tighten my belt. I think with these prices and everything going up my best bet is it stock up on what I can and just cut back on the things I don't need. Gas prices are going to sky rocket I believe but, thank the good Lord I don't really drive very much and a full tank can last me a month if not longer. Both the kids will be departing on their trips in a week, I pray everything goes well and neither of them have any problems and they just have a nice time. I don't know if I told you but, I did buy a new wood stove it's a little bigger but meets all the codes. It was more than I really cared to spend but,if I am right and gas is going to go through the roof I guess it was money well spent.I just got another 50#'s of taters from Jolene so we are good there and the cow goes in at the end of the month so unless we loss electric my freezer should be full and if worst comes to worst at least in the winter you can put the food out on the deck. Either way a person can only do and prepare so much then we have to pray God see us through the bad times. We are going to split the cow three ways between me,Doug and Liz. Since it is just Mom and me know I will not require to much.I would like to keep the soup bones though because I boil them up for the doggies. I don't have much to tell you about the day as I didn't do much (again) just messed around here in the house. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving I am sure the good Lord put on a nice spread. Hugs and kisses to all..I miss and love you ...Laura

Hi Baby, Happy Thanksgiving! I bet you all celebrate hard up there. I didn't do Thanksgiving this year although Yesterday Douglas, Taylor and Lydia showed up with two really large pizza's and then Dusty and Braydon came over. A few minutes later Tator showed up on the four-wheeler and Liz came about a half hour after that. I didn't know anyone was coming over, Thank goodness I took a shower and actually got dressed that day. Anyway we just all ate pizza and talked about their up coming trips. It was very nice and no stress like cooking a big meal like a whole Thanksgiving dinner. I ordered some picture pillows for your sisters for Christmas this year it is a picture of the five of you from when we went to Cathy's for her daughters wedding. Everyone looks so young . I hope they will like it. I know I get a lot of comfort with my doggie blanket. I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving and I miss you so much and the holidays are even worse as far as that goes. Tell everyone and all our furry kids I love and miss them all give them all hugs and kisses for me..Love you...Laura

Hi Baby, It's the 22nd day of Nov. 2022, Elizabeth's Birthday will be in 5 days and they leave on their trip to Mexico in 10 days so it will be a busy few weeks for her with getting everything packed and ready to go. Douglas and Taylor are also going on a trip and it skips my mind where right now...they will both be gone at the same time. The dominic Republic thats where Doug's going and I know I spelled that wrong. I pray they all have a wonderful time. Zara has been suffering with a ear infection for some time, we took her to the vet and she was given pills and ear drops which she doesn't care for. It takes Liz and Dusty working together to get the drops in but, she is getting better with that as I think her ear doesn't hurt as much. Rena is doing pretty good I think she has lost some weight not much but her collar is bigger on her than before. I pray doodle bugs is doing ok...I miss her so much I called her my angle with angles because she fell through the railing and right down to the bottom floor in the tv room and didn't really get hurt. I believe you helped her land softer and I thank you so much for that. It never crossed my mind that she would ever fit through the railing actually a lot of thing don't cross my mind any more and if they do I don't remember them. I have so many emotions lately half the time I wish we could have our lives back from like the year 2019 or so. Before you really started to get sick and everything seemed to be going great. Then sometimes I am so glad you are in heaven healthy, safe and out of this crazy world. Things have gotten so out of hand down here things I would have never guessed would be issues in any ones life time. Every day is still hard and I still have never made it through an entire day without breaking down at some point but, the holiday's really are difficult I don't know how people do it I really don't. Well I will write again tomorrow never forget how much i love and miss you and as always give the furry kids and family all hugs and kisses for me and tell them I love and miss them all. Laura

Hi Baby, It's the 21st of November 2022...Another day has come and went...I didn't do much today just some laundry and brought in some firewood. The days and nights are so long. Elizabeth has been planning a Thanksgiving get together on Wed. but, I told her no, I think she maybe angry with me but, I just can not go through that again this year, Last year was so hard and with losing doodle bugs this year ( 3 weeks ago) on top of you last year is just more than I can handle right now. I pray she and Douglas will eventually understand. I just want this Holiday season to come and go without any involvement. They both have beautiful homes and family's and inlaws to enjoy the holidays with. It's not that I am not thankful for everything I do have because I am ,it's the family members I lost within the last year and half that overwhelms the other things if you can even make sense out of that. I know and understand many people have lost so much more than I, but, that doesn't make my losses any less. I do pray that over Thanksgiving and Christmas you look in on the kids and maybe in some way let them know you are there. I love and miss you, please give all our furry kids with you hugs and kisses and tell doodle bugs I love her and miss her and if I could have helped her more I would have done anything. Love always Laura

Hi Baby, I know it has been a very long time since I have written you and I am sorry, I am just not sure if it was doing me any good however I did miss it. I thought by now I wouldn't be balling every day any more but, that's just not the case. With the holidays coming up I kind of knew it would be hard but, every day is still hard. I still cry every single night and sometimes during the day just out of the blue. I did celebrate the holidays last year with the kids and family but, I thought it was more important because the kids have just lost their dad and I know it was just has hard for them as it was for me. I just don't want to celebrate any more holidays, they are more painful than I can even express in this letter. I always loved the holidays and I really loved Christmas not only because we were celebrating the birth of Jesus but, it was a warm, fun and a day we could just put any and all problems we may have been going through away and just enjoy the birth of Christ. Although I still believe the birth of Christ is an event we should be so grateful for people have manage to slowly remove him from the entire event. Those are times I do keep close to my heart and have wonderful memories of. I enjoyed having everyone over and watching the kids open all the gifts decorating the house, baking cookies ( back then we made everything from scratch ) but, those days are gone, your gone, doodle bugs is gone and although I do feel grateful for what I do have the joyfulness the holidays used to bring just isn't there anymore. The children have their own families now and their own homes to decorate. They both turned out to be wonderful adults,hard working, respectful, giving, caring and I am very proud of both of them. My life has changed in so many ways all ways I wouldn't wish on anyone and it's hard to hold back tears and act joyful when that isn't what your feeling. With that being said I am simply choosing to let the kids celebrate with their families in their homes and I will remember the celebrations we once had. I miss you so much and I pray that doodle bugs and Zena are living with you and playing ball, swimming and Zena is fishing for her minnows like she did at the old cottage, she did that for hours. It's funny because Rena does the same thing. Tell Doodle bugs I miss her so much and that I am so sorry. Give all our furry kids up there with you hugs and kisses and say hello to all our family members. Please don't to angry with me I just want to remember holidays pasted when we were all together. I love you and miss you so much...Love always Laura...I think I will start this back up so I will write again real soon...xxoo

Hi Baby, Well we are into Oct. now and we already had frost twice. It's Oct. 2nd, 2022 today and several things have been going on. First I had the wood stove inspected as it looked like had seen better days and it did not pass...I just no longer felt safe using it once I was told that. I bought a new one and they installed it on Saturday (yesterday) it's a little bigger but, it fits in the place just fine. I am having a little hard time getting used to it the other one was so easy to get going but, this one is giving me some trouble but, I am use I will get the hang of it. Marge and Wendy came up this weekend which was wonderful...we went to the apply place in the 6st ward and man they have really gotten out of control with thier prices, then the girls took me out to dinner at XtoC and we had prime rib which was nice and then last but not least we stopped at the punkin place down the road on Rangeline and got a few punkin's before heading home...It was wonderful getting out of the house for awhile. Ofcourse I would have never been able to do all that if it wasn't for Liz who came over and watched Mom and Ripzy for me. Dusty came over Saturday when the woodstove guys came and got all the needed information so he could tell/teach me which was nice as they came pretty early. The stove was a little more than i wanted to spend but, I would rather spend more if it means I am not having to worry all the time. I just pray it does a good job heating the house as the das prices are very high. John's friend got his 250 gal. tank filled last week and it was $800.00 dollars and now we have a 500 gal tank so a $1,600.00 gas bill is not something I can or want to do to often this winter. I think with the help of Dusty and Liz we got a lot of things taken care of this year I would like to get that garage door you bought in and maybe those roof dump things so the snow doesn't land all at once in the driveway but, we will see if not this year maybe next year. I depend on Dusty and Liz so much and I know that's not right I just don't know what else to do..having to count on others for so much is a bad feeling and I pray it will let up in the coming month's I know they have their own lives and home to care for and they shouldn't have to be here dealing with all my problems. I haven't heard anything from Douglas in so long I wish he would check in once in awhile I know he is busy too but, a five minute call once every week or two shouldn't be that hard. Well that about catches you up to date...so ya...Liz got a doe, Tator got a six pointer and a nice size turkey so far this bow season....I love and miss you so much...Love always Laura xxoo

Hi Baby, well its the 23rd of Sept 2022....Sorry it has been awhile...The nights are getting pretty cold now..I guess I am getting a new wood burner the guy I had come out to clean it said I need a new one and it's going to be pricey. Without you here I just need it to be safe as I don't know anything about anything and now I worry about everything. Liz came and cut the grass today which was nice..Aiden started it the other day but, we ran out of gas so liz finished it up as Tator had to work. Well the people I watch on the computer say tomorrow is going to be a big day..in what way I have no idea although you most likely know what is going on and all the wonders of the world, how I wish you could inform me. I guess I will just have to sit and wait and see what will happen either way I just pray God is moving in his own way and is in total control. Liz's trip is coming up fast..we have to go to the bank and get her name on the credit card so she can use it to finish paying for the hotel and activities. The world isn't getting any better down here murder, robberies, ect..are all on the raise and prices are just crazy. If Gasco doesn't come on Monday I think I am going to call them and see if I can get a fill up before things get to high. Well Ron please keep watching over me and help me make the right choices as I feel pretty lost down here without you. I love and miss you so much...Love always Laura

Hi baby, Well we half way through Sept. sept. 15th 2022...The day started off kind of bad well, not bad more like unexspected. I went in the downstairs bathroom to straighten up and looked in the tub which nobody has used in some time and wow was it dirty even spiderwebs in there. Needless to say I spent the next hour and a half scrubbing the heck out of it. I never let it get even close to that bad I am sorry, I know I said I would keep everything up but, somehow that got away from me. The day did get better as it went on in fact a lot better..Dusty and Douglas cut some wood and because I wasn't sure if liz and the boys were coming or not I thought I would make some dinner. Nothing fancy just wings, potatoes and salad but, it was so wonderful having both Douglas and Liz here together I miss that so much. I don't mean like at the holidays just a normal day sharing a meal all together it was wonderful the only thing that would have made it perfect would be having you here with us. They both helped me clean out the dining room closet also which I have wanted to do for so long. We sure do have wonderful kids and I couldn't be more thankful. Yesterday I did manage to clean up the wood pile in the backyard and burn some of the junk up..It was an unusual calm day so I thought I better make good use of that. Tomorrow morning Liz is going to take me to get some more candles I am down to two and I have to make sure your candle burns every day. Corky is running for Lincoln County Sheriff as a write in, I don't know why he wants to get back in with the way things are today but, I wish him all the luck in the world and I will give him my vote. Nicole was going to go up to the cottage this week and put in a new dishwasher but, I had to tell her we already shut it down for the winter so no running water, If i would have known she wanted to go back up yet this year I would have waited a little while longer to shut it down. I have to work within Dusty's timeline as he does all the work and he is a busy man. He has been so helpful since you went to heaven I don't know what I would do without him. I love and miss you so much, the only joy I have is knowing you are healthy and safe which means a lot. All my Love laura

Hi Baby, It's the 7th of Sept, 2022...I actually was pretty busy today, I cut the grass with both the rider and push mower and cleaned up a little. i think i am getting better with that rider but, we still have our moments. Julie called today and they are doing another girls weekend this time in three lakes but, I won't be able to go which is ok. She's all done with her field training and now she is out on her own although because she's the lowest on the chain she has to work nights again which she is not happy about but, she understands. Sharon called to and John had a rough weekend...he couldn't remember things like when they got their dog patches or if he was retired so she took him in to the ER. to get checked out. He has been suffering from really bad headaches the last few weeks. I hope and pray he will be ok. I just don't trust these Doctors anymore. I guess Liz and Tator are getting ready for Bow hunting which will be starting up here shortly and with the cost of things these days I hope they fill all their tags. I haven't heard from Douglas in a while I keep telling him to call at least once a week which he always agrees to but, never seems to be able to do..Everyone is so busy. Today was actually pretty hot out in the 80"s although the nights are only in the 40's or low 50's I have made a fire a few times in the morning to get the chill out.Well that's about all the news and updates I have for tonight. I love and miss you so much...Love always Laura

Hi Baby, Well it's the 6th of Sept, 2022....The cottage is all closed up for the winter thanks to Liz and Dusty...I wouldn't be able to do anything without those two, I thank the Lord for them every day. It's starting to get darker early now and the leaves will be changing pretty soon, some trees have already started. I do enjoy fall everything is so fresh and crisp and beautiful it's what comes after that...I do love the change of the seasons but, the winter does get long when your alone. I just hope the winter wouldn't be so cold as i just don't know where the fuel cost will be. A lot of people are saying it is going to be pretty high, thank God we got all that wood to help off set it a little bit. Liz's trip is coming up fast i sure hope they all enjoy it. I am still experiencing so many emotional out busts I sure wish i could somehow get a handle on that but, they just come and go with a mind of their own. Closing up the cottage and knowing I was returning back here to your house and knowing you were not going to be there just overwhelmed me for some reason this time. I have come and gone several times but, this time was so hard and I have know Idea why but, it was like being kicked in the guts. I know I will miss you forever but, these emotional gut punches have to let up some how some way. It's kind of funny to me in a way..I feel like I fought so hard most of my adult life and now when I need that fight I don't seem to have any left in me. Well baby, until tomorrow..I love and miss you...Love laura

Hi Baby, Well it is the 1st of Sept.2022......Winter is coming up fast. Braydon's first day of school was today, Liz said he really enjoyed it, tator's first day is tomorrow....I guess we are going up to the cottage Saturday morning to take in the dock and close it up for the winter. With winter moving in fast and bow hunting starting up this month who knows if we will make it up there any more this year. I can't take mom up there by myself any more as she simply can not stand or walk any more and it is to dangerous plus I would never be able to get her out to the car or into the house in her wheelchair by myself. I called marge tonight and we had a nice talk she said she may drive up next weekend for a visit as Roger has to go out of town i am assuming for work. I came accross a blanket Grandma willoughby made and it has seen better days, I remembered that marge also knits blankets so i asked her if she could take a look at it and see if she could repair it so it doesn't fall apart anymore than it is. She said she's pretty sure she can do something. Maybe Wendy will have off and come up with her it would be nice to get together. I didn't do much today as cleaning that garage yesterday kind of pooped me out plus it was pretty hot out today. I need to go shopping pretty soon our frig. is pretty empty but, it would be better to go after we come back home from the cottage. I love the change of seasons but, going through another long winter alone doesn't sound very good, I miss you so much I wish God would have healed you up instead of taking you home. I still just can not understand why he didn't I know he can i just can not understand why he doesn't do it a lot more often. I can't understand why we have to do this whole middle part of life period, if we came from the father and we return from the father why this whole middle part what is the reason? Don't get me wrong I know God must have a reason I just can't figure it out and he is not telling me. The bible doesn't really go into that at all that I can find. God must have known all the questions we would have yet so many of my questions don't seem to be covered in the bible, I can't believe I am the only one with these questions. Well i guess it doesn't pay to dwell on questions I will most likely never get the answers to yet, they are on my mind constantly. Well Baby I love and miss you so very much...Love always Laura

Hi Baby, Well it's the 31st of Aug. 2022...the last day of Aug. School starts tomorrow for Braydon and on the 2nd for Tator so we are at the end of summer. Braydon is pretty excited Liz said...I don't know if Tator is that thrilled. I cleaned up the garage a bit today man your woodworking machines were heavy..I thought they would be but, they were heavier than I thought. Either way i did manage to move them with the help of the Lord. I swepted it all out and I think it looks a little better. I am watching flash point and they all say on this show that God is moving and is correcting all the wrong in this world, I pray they are right. I had a strange experience the other day, I almost can't explain it it was a very powerful feeling I guess you could say. I don't really remember if I actually heard a name or not but, I felt someone was in a bad way like trapped and was feeling they had no way out and they were being very misunderstood. long story short I felt a strong need to call Wendy and give her another way or another direction so i did text her. I really don't know for sure if the message was for her or not but, that was the feeling I felt. I hope I didn't cross a line with her I would never want to make her feel bad or tell her she is doing something wrong because that's not what I meant nor is it how I feel. I have had those feeling before but, I never really acted on them but, maybe it's time I start listening I just pray it is the Lord who is talking. I miss you so much baby...I just hate the thought of another long, cold lonely winter without you. I love and miss you so much...Love always Laura

Hi baby, Well today is the 29th of Aug. 2022..Douglas's Birthday! Liz, dusty and Tator came over this evening and tator cut the grass and Liz and dusty helped me pick up the yard a bit. I got a dumpster delivered today and started cleaning up. I went through all your clothes which was super hard but, I thought if I did mine to it would make it a little easier so that's what i did. I guess we are going to close up the cottage this weekend before bow hunting starts up and bring in the dock before the water gets to cold. People can still go up if they want they just will have to potty in a bucket or outside..the heat, ele. and tv is still on so it isn't so bad. Kelly wrote me today it was nice to hear from her although i am still not adjusting to this new and unwanted part of my life so I am sure I wouldn't make good company right now as she wants to get together. Oh what i would give to bring you back home here and get back to normal. I guess Jackie is closing on her Iron River house on the 1st of Sept. and she is going to move into a home down by Mike and Deb. I guess the homes down there are going for a pretty penny. I just can't really picture her living in the middle of town on a busy road but, she's not young many more and keeping up a large yard would be a lot of work. I will be a huge change for sure, I know I wouldn't like it. Although this home doesn't feel the same to me without you here but, I could never leave here, you are all around this house and yard and although it feels different I still love this house, yard and area. I feel comfortable here, safe and secure it is perfect. Well baby, I hope you checked in with Douglas today I know he misses you every day. Well baby, good night and please stay with me...I love and miss you...Love always Laura

Hi Baby, Well it's the 27th of Aug. 2022....Well Dusty and Liz delivered Douglas's Birthday gift (freezer) tonight so we did manage to take care of that... His birthday is in two days. They helped him get it down in the basement so now we just have to order the cow which I think will be in Oct. It was a rather gloomy, rainy day today, so once again I didn't do much. Mom went to bed early I guess that kind of day makes everyone tired. I ordered a dumpster which will come on Monday I have so much stuff around the yard from that fence to get rid of along with a lot of stuff in the garage...don't worry I won't get rid of any of your tooks just stuff that is broke or we have no need for any more. I would like to move a lot of the stuff under the dining room so I can get both cars in the garage this winter. I hope we can get a few more things done before the snow starts...the water pressure thing, the door and the deck would all be great, and maybe the wood back along the garage roof and house. I miss you so much...I just don't know what to do with myself any more. I wish you could just come back and we could just get our lives back.....Nothing about this whole situation seems correct or right,..... nothing. Well baby...I just wanted to tell you Douglas got his gift and he liked it....I love you and miss you so much...Love always Laura

Hi Baby, It's the 23rd of Aug. 2022.....Another bad day...I am starting to think they are here to stay...I baked all day I made 4 loaves of bread and 24 muffins and put them all in the freezer for a later date. I just don't know what to do with myself these days. I have to get Douglas's freezer pretty soon his birthday is coming up fast. I have to start picking up rocks again so I can mow along the fence but, it has been so hot during the day and I can't hear mom's bell when I am that far away. I just feel so tired and no matter what way I turn there are barricages blocking the way. I could use one of your arm things right now. Anyway I just wanted to check in and tell you how much I wish you were here. Love always...Laura

Hi Baby, Well it's the 21st of Aug, 2022....Douglas's birthday is coming up fast and I haven't gotten his freezer yet, He will be 39 in 8 more days, Hard to believe our first born is almost 40. I can still remember the day he was born pretty clearly....I am so glad you got to experience his birth with me, you were there with both the kids and I remember them both. Anyway I had a kind of bad day that just keeps going, these emotional rollercoaster up and downs are still not getting much better. This being alone is ten times worse than I ever thought possible, what a would give just to have you back home here with me. I guess both ways were hard, you were scaring me so much I never knew from day to day what would happen and I know it wasn't better for you, it had to be very frightening and once again I am so sorry I wasn't smart enough to see what was going on, and believe me I live with that quilt every minute of every day. I really hope heaven is everything you ever dreamed it would be and more...I wonder what kind of mansion God made for you...I picture it rustick and overlooking a river with a large deck so you can fly fish with your dad. I sure hope you are saving a room for me and all our four legged babies. I hope and pray I am not forced to do this much longer without you...this is not a life it is just waking up and going to bed day in and day out. I just hate having to count on other people for so many things it certainly isn't right. I wish I could just jump on the lawn mower or take a drive into town for candles or whatever but, eventually I will have to return home and you still will not be here...I ordered some diapers for Ripzy but, they were a little to small so Liz ordered some bigger ones I hope they come tomorrow, I have to shampoo the carpet every day which is getting old but, I know she can't help it and I know she feels bad. Nothing seems to be going right but, nothing is really that bad either I mean we set ourselves up pretty good for whatever one of us was left behind to carry on. Although I think you would have been able to handle things better as far as upkeep and the emotional ups and downs if I would have left first. Mom still has good days and bad days but, the last two days have been pretty good.. I haven't heard from Douglas in a long long time he still has your jeep so I don't know if he is busy moving things or what. Well thats about all for me baby, I think I am just going to watch some t.v. and wait for this day to end...I love and miss you so much...Love always laura

Hi Baby, Well it's the 14th day of Aug.2022...Douglas and his family and some friends made it to the cottage and from the pictures on facebook it looks like they went exploring a little, I pray the weather was better there than here, it has been either raining or gloomy the last few days around here. Liz and Dusty have been taking down the old fence and cutting all the post to the new fence down to the correct size. I had good intentions today to get somethings done but, I just cleaned a little instead. Summer is coming to a end the boys will be going back to school the 1st of Sept which is right around the bend. I hate the thought of another long winter here without you the days just appear to last forever. I haven't heard anything from Jo so I am not sure if she is still planning on driving up the 16th or not, It's a long drive for a day. My gut don't seem to be getting any better I have no idea what is wrong this time. One thing after another, although it does seem to be better if I stay away from food, so I have done that. The world just appears to be a mess everything is upside down and inside out just like John Paul Jackson warned us was coming. I am just waiting for a God moment as he is saying not to fear and to put our trust and faith in him. God must be so disappointed in this world...I know I am. Well baby I just wanted to drop you a line and remind you that I love you and miss you so much....Love always and forever....Laura

Hi Baby, Well it is the 12th of Aug. 2022....What a awful day, I just can not do this Ron....I can't keep everything straight, Things appear like they are getting better and somehow I am keeping my head above water then...it all falls apart..Each time it falls apart it falls apart worse than the last time. I truly understand what Mom means by " I simply just don't belong in this world anymore". Nothing makes sense to me anymore, I don't agree in the way things are handled or dealt with, I am not saying my why is the only way that's not it...I simply don't understand. I just wish I could come home and be with you and daddy and Jesus. I just don't want to continue going forward as I don't think my why of life exist's anymore. Douglas and Taylor along with another couple went up to the cottage this weekend I pray they have good weather so they are able to get into the water and have a nice relaxing weekend. Well that's about it for today like I said it was a scarey day and I feel physically exhausted right out.I love and miss you more than ever and not only do I not want to do this anymore I really feel like I physically can not. I don't know if you are watching over me every day but, if you are please continue I need all the help and guidance I can get...If you haven't been please start. I love you and miss you so much...Love always me.

Hi baby, It's the 10th of Aug. 2022...Douglas's Birthday is coming up in 19 more days...39 years old, wow I just can't believe our first born is coming up on 40. I will have to go get his freezer that's his gift as I getting another cow this year and we are going to split it 3 ways. I do have some news well, not news as I pray you were there...I was baptized in the Wiscond river on Sunday the 7th of Aug.2022 along with Sharon, John Dusty and two other people. Sharon's and John's church organized it and we had a potluck dinner afterwards. There was about 30-40 people there from the church and they all sang Amazing Grace as we walked into and out of the water. I made sure I was wearing your wedding ring and heart valve when I was baptized. I don't really know why that means a lot to me but, it does. I guess I have always had what I believe a level of faith although I had never really got information through and from the bible as I should have throughout my life. Losing you made me mad at first and then depressed and sad but, then although those feeling still creep up I also got a strong interest in finding out what the bible really say's about things, like marriage, life, death which is know taking me down a path of attempting to really know God and having a real relationship with him. The bible tells us not to fear but, to have faith in him and at least for me that is a struggle every day but, I am trying. I know God has a plan for everyone of us however, I just don't know what path is for me. Life just isn't the same here without you and it certainly isn't better.
I really don't know what God's plan is for me this world or this nation but, I have to believe he is in control and he is going to do what needs to be done on his timeline. I hope and pray you came to see us get baptized and I pray the Lord rejoiced. I Love you and miss you every day..Love always Laura

Hi Baby, I haven't forgotten about you believe me, but I know it has been a while and for that I am sorry. It's the 4th day of Aug. 2022. I was at the cottage for a little over 2 weeks with Gma and the boys. Everything went just fine up there the boys even made you a special rock with your name and a heart it looks really nice. The kids got the fence up and it looks good I was afraid it would have been a little too much but, it is good, It's a little close to the property line on one side then i would like but, I pray it won't become an issue. We still have some work to do with it but, the kids really worked hard on it. This coming Sunday on the 7th of Aug. I am going to a park in rhinelander with Sharon and her church to get Baptized in the river or lake. After losing you I found myself questioning my faith, I just can not understand why God didn't heal you after all we have gone through and how far you have come throughout the years. I feel you deserved a second chance at life since you have been fighting poor health for so long. We worked so hard pulling ourselves out of bad times and right when life was going really well everything went to heck and I miss you every minute of every day. I pray and pray that heaven is more then you could have ever dream of and I pray you and your dad are building another motor boat and are enjoying each others company. I can not wait to come to heaven and see you I miss you more than I could ever find the words for. I will try to write more often it is just so emotional and sometimes it's pretty hard to pull myself together. I love you and miss you baby...Love always Laura

Hi Baby, It's the 10th of July 2022....Haven't really done very much lately although I did manage to weed the back gardens. We had a little thunder storm here tonight nothing dangerous thank God but, the tree's all got a good drink and it created a really pretty double rainbow. Liz still comes over every night to help put mom to bed...It has become the highlight of by day. I miss you so much, nights are still very hard I keep looks in the end of the couch were you always where and it is just a bad bad feeling. I love you and miss you..Love always me.

Hi Baby, It's the 7th of July 2022.....I bet you had a wonderful 4th of July...God I am sure has the best fireworks. We had rain that night so the fireworks were canceled until the 5th. The summer just seems to be flying by yet..each day seems to last forever. I usually get through the days pretty well sometimes the morning can be a little rough but, the nights are still pretty bad, I guess that's when I miss you the worst. I just do not care for this being here alone, I just wish you could comeback. Liz took me into town today to vacuum out the jeep and give her a wash as Douglas is going to use the jeep for a few days, we also stopped at a dollar general store and got a bunch of candles, Tator stayed here with mom and ripzy. I am still trying to figure out this whole point of life thing, however I am not really getting very far...I have so many questions but, noone on earth seems to have the answers. Well before I start completely balling I will say goodnight..I love and miss you....Laura

Hi Baby, Well it's the 29th of June 2022...I have been dreading this day for a long time..In 15 minutes you will be gone for 1 full year....It just doesn't feel possible to me for me it feels like 2 weeks have passed...I don't feel any better than I did a year ago....Some how and some way I am making it I really don't have any idea how, the days all run together and nothing fells right any more. I guess to be honest I am just waiting for my turn. Jackie and Kassie came over yesterday to visit with mom, she isn't doing very well but, she too just keeps kicking, were like to pea's in a pod just waiting for our number to come up. I hope and pray heaven was everything you ever dreamed of, Lord knows things down here are a far cry from perfect. I have been keeping busy in the yard with the gardens and what not but, it is just to pass the time. Sharon said she may stop over tomorrow as they have somethings to take care of in town. I just don't even know what to hope or pray for anymore, I just want our lives back I do not care for this "new" version of my life what so ever, Nicole said after awhile things will feel less sharp but, so far that has not occurred. Well it is now 9:30pm....1 year without you....worst year of my life....I love you and miss you...Love always Laura

Hi Baby, It's the 23rd of June 2022.....I haven't done much the last few days as it has been pretty hot high 80's to low 90's..Mom not doing to well these days but, she is hanging in there I don't think the hot weather is doing her any good either. Wendy is not doing very well, could you ask God to give her strength and have him hold her tight and heal her body inside and out from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet. She is a person of strong faith and has gone through enough bad times she truly needs and deserves to be healthy and strong. All though I know deep in my heart and soul that God knows best and he never makes mistakes, sometimes I wish I would have never told you to go to jesus but, rather fight and ask the Lord to stay here longer. I am glad you are healthy and safe in Gods paradise but, I miss you so much. The world is just so full of hate and I am waiting for God to make his move only God could fix the things going on down here. It is really just like John Paul Jackson said in 2008 in the perfect storm. I am really attempting to keep up your house and yard as much as I am able and hopefully the fence will go up next month I pray we don't run into any problems with it, we sure could use your "how to do things" right now. Baby just please keep watching and guiding me and the kids, I pray for God's body of armor on this property, house and all who dwell within it. I love and miss you Ron...Love always, Laura

Hi Baby..It's the 20th of June 2022..I am so so sorry I haven't been able to write you, we had a strong go through a few days back and we lost internet until late this afternoon, I did however leave you phone messages...Ron I am not going to sugar coat anything here..I know Mom and Ripzy need me for now and I swear on everything I will do everything and anything to make each day the best I can for them both as I love them very much...Ron I am tired, and I don't want to fight anymore I just want to be done. I was strong willed when I had to but, I am not that person anymore..I fought hard because I felt I had some things very important to fight for you and the kids the house the animals ect...but, they are all gone now and I have no more fight in me. I know I have some unfinished duties here but, I am working on them...We did agree Liz would see and swim in the ocean and I almost have that completed, Douglas medical bills are good and he has his own home so all is good there as we planned. Ron I am so tired and I want to be done, I don't know what else you want me to do or take care of? Other than taking care of Mom or Ripzy I hate waking up in the morning..I do not feel like it is a blessing I feel like it is another day of heartache, pain torture. I don't want you or God to get the wrong idea....I love Liz and Douglas and their families but, I fear I have become nothing more than a headache and pain in the ass to both of them. Dusty has said somethings to John that I know he feels overwhelmed and I am just to much work...I don't blame him at all I feel the same way and he never signed up for this.He has his own parent's to worry about and take care of, He is a good man and I don't want to do anything to get in their way of life. I guess what I am saying is I just want to come home by you, I know I have to wait until the Lord calls Ripzy and Mom home but, then I should have met all my requirements here on earth. I am sure Liz will take care of Rens and Zara and diamond although the good Lord could call her home along with Mom and Ripzy as she is getting up there in age as well. I hope and pray you do not consider me weak Ron but, I am so tired of fighting and attempting to do the right things that few see or even agree with. Everyone knows better but, no one ever attempts to take on the responsibilities so I just want to come and be with you. I hope and pray you understand as I really don't know how else to say it...I love and miss you so much and I will count the days.

Hi Baby, It's the 13th of June 2022...I wrote you a long letter the other day but, for some reason it didn't post which has happened before so I hope this one will post. I don't really have a lot to report as I haven't gone or done anything. Tator cut the grass yesterday we have a agreement that he cuts it every 3 days or so and so far so good. Your jeep is in the shop something broke on the 4 wheel drive and he is fixing it, I hope everything turns out good I know how much you love that jeep. Mom is doing ok not getting any better but, not getting any worse either. Ripzy wasn't doing very well so was so dehydrated as she tries to drink all the time but, she just can not get enough water so I have been having her drink from a bottle and so far so good she has improved a lot. It's kind of like having to 2 year olds in the house with me. I sure miss you nothing is the same without you here. I attempt to keep myself busy with the yard, garden flowers ect but, nothing fills the void. Liz has been doing all my shopping so that's a huge help as I can't leave mom home alone at all or ripzy for that matter. Liz comes over every night and helps me get mom into bed for the night which is helpful as she is kind of hard to transfer by myself and she really can't help you, but we are getting there so I guess we can be thankful for that. The world is still going down the toilet gas is over 5 dollars a gal and raising food and housing is going up and up. I just can not figure out the lefts game plan most of them are so old I don't see what they will gain. Anyway I did leave you a phone message the other night I pray you can read these and listen to the messages. I miss you every minute of every day...If I knew how to bring you back I would do it in a second but, I don't know how. I love you and miss you...Love always Laura

Hi baby..It's the 5th day of June 2022..I am so sorry I haven't wrote you in so long things have been alittle crazy down here. I believe mom had a small stroke while we were at the cottage putting the dock in and her speech, right hand and legs were not working correctly. She is improving with her speech but, her legs will take awhile longer although they are better. For now I have to lift her onto the commode and on the couch and bed but, Liz helps me alot. Dusty helped me rearrange her bedroom so I have more room to transfer her which is working much better. Today is Dusty's 38th birthday we gave him a card with 50 dollars in it. I don't think the cottage is going to be a obtion this summer as mom can not walk or stand and getting her in and out of the house in the wheelchair is a 3 or 4 person job. Nicole is going up there over the 4th of July so I will ask her to cut the grass and what not which I am sure she will do. I miss you so much I really don't even know where this year as gone it feels like just a week or two for me. I wish I was smarter than I was or am I just handled everything so wrong and I couldn't be more sorry for that. I had a dream about you the other day you were driving me in a car and I asked you how long you could stay but, before you could answer mom rang her bell and I woke up, I pray you will come again and finished that dream. Ripzy is having a hard time but, I am helping her as much as I know how to do, she is such a sweet little girl. Jo came up and visited with mom on Wed. after she got off work and stayed with mom during the day on Thursday which was wonderful as it gave me time to get a lot of yard work done. I think the yard is looking pretty good I sure hope you are proud as I wouldn't have any of this without you. I try to thank God every day that he blessed you and I so much throughout the years I again wish I would have realized it a lot sooner. The world or at least America is still in a downward spin but, I believe God has it covered and I am putting my trust and faith in him. I haven't heard anything from Douglas lately I hope her calls or stops by soon, I never know his word schedule and I don't want to bother him but, I do miss him a lot. We were so blessed with wonderful kids and I am so grateful to them both and Dusty and the boys are so much more than helpful I really don't know where I would be without them. I guess Jackie and Bobby divorce is final now and Jo said they have to sell the house and land up north and slit it 50/50 which really that is only fair. I just wonder how Bobby feels about that as the way I understand it he wanted to stay there but, if he doesn't have the money to buy Jackie out that wouldn't be fair. Well Baby I think that covers everything for me I just love and miss you so much...Love always Laura

Hi Baby, Well it's the 21st of May 2022...I was pretty busy today , I cut the grass and weeded the flower garden and did misc..stuff outside. I haven't heard any updates on Tanya I pray she is doing well. Sharon did a surprise visit this afternoon and brought me some eggs and a few other goodies. I took a bath and now I am so tired. I just wanted to check in so you don't think I forgot to write...I love and miss you every minute of every day....Love always Laura

Hi Baby, It's the 20th of May 2022...Sorry it has been awhile although I hope you hear me talking to you. Liz and her family went camping this weekend over by the council grounds to try out the camper they fixed up. We went up to the cottage last weekend to open everything up, there was alot of tree's down they must of had a heck of a storm. Liz went home on Sunday afternoon and mom and I stayed until Wed. late morning. I cut the grass and worked on the beach a bit and washed all the bedding. Getting mom around is getting a little harder her legs are just getting so weak. Julie called me yesterday and told me Tanya had a heart attack and had to get three stents put in..she was always so healthy I hope she didn't have a side effect from anything. I put Tanya on a prayer chain so she will have many prayers coming her way. I cut the grass here when I got home but, it was long and I couldn't remember how to change the deck height but I did figure it out after awhile. The news down here doesn't sound good and as much as I miss you and want you to come back I am glad you are safe, I just don't know how bad things are going to get. I have to get Marge's card in the mail in the morning her birthday is on Tuesday I hope it won't be late. Liz has a job interview on Monday morning here in Merrill and Dusty just got a raise. I haven't seem Douglas in a long while although I have touched bases with him on the computer. Well baby I will write you again soon and please ask God to watch over and heal Tanya and give her peace and comfort,,I love you Baby..Laura