Inspect you flags at home or business, if it is tattered or torn dispose of it and replace it with a new one. Unserviceable flags may be brought to the Bradley Funeral Home before Wednesday’s service or any time throughout the year.

The 7^th grade religious education class from St. John’s Catholic Church took a fun and educational tour of the funeral home and crematory this week. It was a chance for them to ask some great questions and get some rumors and myths they have heard about funeral homes and death put to rest.

If you have a group or class that would like to take a tour of the funeral home and crematory let us know. The Bradley Funeral Home would be happy to host your meeting or class and provide a tour of part or all of our facilities. Giving you an opportunity to be at the funeral home and get your questions answered at a time when you are not experiencing a loss.

Other groups that have recently taken tours are the Antigo Optimist Club and the 8^th grade class at All Saints.

2. MAKE SOME CHANGES IF THEY FEEL COMFORTABLE FOR YOU. Open presents Christmas Eve instead of Christmas morning.

3. HAVE DINNER AT A DIFFERENT TIME OF PLACE. Let the children take over decorating the house, the tree, baking and food preparation, etc.

4. RE-EXAMINE YOUR PRIORITIES: GREETING CARDS, HOLIDAY BAKING, DECORATING, PUTTING UP A TREE, FAMILY DINNER, ETC. Do I really enjoy doing this? Is this a task that can be shared?

5. CONSIDER DOING SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR SOMEONE ELSE. Donate a gift in the memory of your loved one. Donate money you would have spent on your loved one as a gift to charity. Adopt a needy family for the holidays. Invite a guest (foreign student, senior citizen) to share festivities.

6. RECOGNIZE YOUR LOVED ONE’S PRESENCE IN THE FAMILY. Burn a special candle to quietly include your loved one. Hang a stocking for your loved one in which people can put notes with their thoughts or feelings. Listen to music especially liked by the deceased. Look at photographs.

7. IF YOU DECIDE TO DO HOLIDAY SHOPPING, MAKE A LIST AHEAD OF TIME AND KEEP IT HANDY FOR A GOOD DAY, OR SHOP THROUGH A CATALOGUE.

8. OBSERVE THE HOLIDAYS IN WAYS WHICH ARE COMFORTABLE FOR YOU. There is no right or wrong way of handling holidays. Once you’ve decided how to observe the time, let others know.

9. TRY TO GET ENOUGH REST — HOLIDAYS CAN BE EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY DRAINING.

10. ALLOW YOURSELF TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS. Holidays often magnify feelings of loss. It is natural to feel sadness. Share concerns, apprehensions, feelings with a friend. The need for support is often greater during holidays.

11. KEEP IN MIND THAT THE EXPERIENCE OF MANY BEREAVED PERSONS IS THAT THEY DO COME TO ENJOY HOLIDAYS AGAIN. THERE WILL BE OTHER HOLIDAY SEASONS TO CELEBRATE.

12. DON’T BE AFRAID TO HAVE FUN. Laughter and joy are not disrespectful. Give yourself and your family members permission to celebrate and take pleasure in the holidays.

Reprinted from *Bereavement & Loss Resources* a publication of Rivendell Resources and GriefNet.

Tom also serves on the board of  trustees at Langlade Hospital, is a trustee at St. John Catholic Church in Antigo  and past board member of CoVantage Credit Union .

Suppose you decide to take a trip. You load the family in the care and start driving. Sooner or later probable miles from home, you discover that you have no idea where you’re headed. You don’t have a destination…and you don’t even have a map.
Of course, you wouldn’t do that, because you understand the value of defining a goal, no matter what it is, and making a plan to accomplish it. If you try to build a house without a blueprint, you wind up with a pretty odd house.
We plan our vacations, our careers (sometimes), and our investments. We plan for the education of our children, and we plan for the day we don’t have to work anymore. Yet, oddly enough, there’s one critical plan that most of us never make.
We don’t plan for our funerals. Strange, when you think about it. We could plan for a vacation and never go…plan an investment that never happens… but we can’t bring ourselves to plan the one event we know is going to happen…an event we know will cause disruption, sorrow and possibly unanticipated expense for those we leave behind. Yes, it’s difficult to think about death, and especially difficult to think about one’s own passing. But we promise that pre-planning your funeral is the most loving, compassionate, considerate thing you can do for the ones you love.
There are many good reasons to pre-plan your funeral and no good reason not to. First, let’s consider the emotional aspect. During a time of grief and loss, people are not prepared to make complex arrangements. When you pre-plan, you spare your family the burden and stress of having to make many decisions at the worst possible time. All they will have to do is make one telephone call.
Then, there are practical reasons. When you discuss your preferences with our pre-need counselor, you can specify exactly the type of service you want, down to the last detail. And you can consider you choices in privacy at your leisure, with no pressure of hurry. Today’s contemporary funeral traditions offer many dignified, touching forms of commemoration. Do you know what they are? If not, meet with a funeral director or a pre-planning counselor. They will note all your decisions and keep the information on file at no charge, so your family won’t have to worry about it later.
For even more peace of mind, some may consider pre-paying their funeral. Many funeral homes offer installment plans, where the funds you pay are placed in a trust and protected by law. Prepayment means your prices are guaranteed against future cost increases, and it means your family won’t be faced with expenses they didn’t expect. Even if you think you may live somewhere else in the future, the plans and funds are always yours and portable to whatever funeral home you desire.
Perhaps it’s time to think about the one thing we don’t like to think about. It’s not too late to help your family with many difficult decisions. But someday, it might be.

What is the temperature during the cremation process?
The cremation process begins with the placement of the enclosed body into the cremation chamber where it is subjected to intense heat and flame reaching temperatures between 1400 and 1800 degrees Fahrenheit. All substances are consumed except bone fragments (calcium compounds) and any non-combustible materials, such as jewelry or prosthesis, which were not removed prior to cremation as the temperature is not sufficient to consume them. During the cremation process it may be necessary to open the cremation chamber and reposition the deceased in order to facilitate a complete and thorough cremation.

How long does cremation take?
The time for cremation to be completed varies with the size and weight of each individual whom is being cremated, but usually takes between 2 to 4 hours. When the cremation is complete a cooling period is necessary before the cremated remains can be removed from the cremation chamber.

How are cremated remains collected from the cremation chamber?
The cremated remains are swept or raked from the cremation chamber. Every effort is made to remove all human remains. However, a small residue may remain in the cremation chamber, resulting in incidental commingling with other cremated remains.

What happens to metal objects in or on the body?
After the cremated remains are removed from the cremation chamber, all non-combustible materials will be separated or removed from the bone fragments by visible or magnetic selection and will be disposed of by the crematory in a non-recoverable manner.

Are Cremated remains processed?
Once the bone fragments have been separated from other material they will be further processed to reduce the size of the bone fragments into uniform particles.

How much do cremated remains weigh?
Cremated remains, depending on the bone structure of the decedent, will weigh between 4 to 9 pounds, and are usually white in color, but can be other colors due to temperature variations and other factors.

Many people experience a sense of numbness, disbelief, and sometimes isolation following the death of a family member. When people gather around to assist in some of the chores or daily tasks this can be physically and emotionally helpful. This is similar to the idea of people gathering at the funeral home for visitation. During this time, these people are helping to emotionally support the family. This is accomplished through the sharing of stories and memories of the deceased and their interactions with other members of the family and community. This helps lift the sense of isolation that many bereaved experience as it points out that there are others who share a sense of loss. The family is not alone.

Presence of friends and family at a visitation time also helps the bereaved by providing a sounding board or a listening ear to hear the family repeat the story of the deceased illness or the details of the accident that may have tragically taken the life of their loved one. This helps bring about the true realization that the person has died. This may sound somewhat unbelievable, but it is hard for a human being to accept that a loved one has died, because they have always thought of them in terms of the things they have done or the activities they have shared over the years. The psychological side of our mind needs to hear these details of the death over and over to convince itself, because it is so foreign to think of this live person as now being dead. This helps in the transition from a relationship of presence to a relationship of memory.

Viewing the deceased is also a benefit for the same reason. The psychological part of the human mind needs hard physical proof that the live person they have been so involved with, is now dead.

Good information is the basis of good solid decision making. When a loved one dies we all know, intellectually, that they really have died. But people regardless of how bright or sophisticated have strong feelings which are not logical when a powerful emotional issue is involved. Seeing the body as the focal point of a ritual (The Funeral Service) is a powerful form of reality testing.

Social scientists who study grief and the serious psychological problems it can cause consistently find value in viewing and the funeral. We all know instinctively how bad not seeing the body would be when a person goes missing, soldier dies overseas, plane crashes or a bombing occurs. Thousands to hundreds of thousands of dollars are spent searching for lost bodies, and we all understand why. Most of us were taught from childhood that the polite and proper thing to do was to say “Hello” when we meet someone and “Good-Bye” when we departed their presence. In the Western Culture we acknowledge contact with another person with a hand shake, hug, high five, smile or a nod of the head. And finally when we leave the presence of another person we shake hands give hugs but most importantly we say Good-Bye. This was all taught from childhood. Thus, when someone suddenly dies the family and friends have the basic, and very distinctive human need to say “good-bye”.

For additional information contact Sister Adele Demulling at 715-623-9793

Discuss differences between spirituality and religion, while also addressing spirituality during illness, death and grief; spiritual assessment and empowerment, and life review.